Outsider Syndrome: Everlasting (Bonus Content)

Chapter 4 - "Over and Over"

He released a full-on exhale. Then, he scooped my hand into his. He discarded the umbrella and folded his other arm around me. Within seconds, I was in an embrace. He was holding me.

My heart beat frenziedly against my ribcage. Where our skin touched, it burned. Warm and fuzzy feelings enveloped me alongside uncontainable butterflies. I'd long forgotten the cold rain; the gloomy world around me.

"Kisa." His breath tickled my ear—closer and softer than I ever heard it. "You do know I love you, right?"

He intertwined our hands properly. I couldn't be more fortunate that my scorching face was buried in his shoulder. My rationality was spiralling. "Yes. You tell me all the time."

"And of all those times, there's countless more I'm unable to. Every time I look at you, or you look at me, or my hand grazes yours—simple things like that get me all worked up. And I end up thinking, 'Ah, I love her' each time. I don't have a lot of self-control, though, so I end up shouting it every other time."

I glanced up at him, at his reddened ears. Then down at our intertwined fingers. My body was unbelievably hot.

"I'll be honest." It was the first time he'd spoken point-blank. Whenever I was in the picture, he babbled with the eloquence of a poet. "Me holding back from touching you has nothing to do with noble reasons," he confessed, withdrawing to stare into my eyes. "It's me. I'm selfish. I want to keep you all to myself. Like, literally, all to myself. That possessiveness gets stronger every day. I can hardly keep myself together with eye contact alone. If I'm allowed to touch you freely, I won't be able to stop myself. I know I won't. You're dear to me, Kisa. I force my feelings on you a ton as is. The fact that it's reciprocal, that you're my girlfriend, gives me unbelievable euphoria. But, part of me is scared. That these explosive feelings of mine will one day drive you away. I'm not conventional. I'm not perfect. So, if I allow myself, I'll smother you more than I do now. I'll suffocate you with love to the point where you won't be able to breathe. Frankly, at this point, a simple kiss isn't enough to satisfy me."

"I don't care."

His eyes widened.

Agh. Settle down, hormones!

"I'm not as fragile as you think," I added, albeit mortified. "If your unconventional love posed a problem for me, I'd have never fallen for you. Nor would we be going out now. I do love being doted on and being given special attention, but that's why it's hard for me. I'm not like you. It's extremely difficult for me to put words to my feelings. Even when I say I love you, it doesn't feel like you get it. I can't tell you as eloquently as you tell me. So. . . so I thought that maybe, I could deliver these feelings even without words. W-with like, kisses!" I forcefully corrected. My nerves bunched, and pulse raced fervently. "Contrary to popular belief, I'm not an innocent goddess. I'm just a regular girl. . . who's really, really in love with her boyfriend."

I said it. . . !

For a hot minute, I couldn't bring myself to look up. However, Banri—the same Banri who treated me with nothing but humility, who lavished me with the gentlest of care and affection—wrapped me up against him, and without a single consideration of where we were or the potential of onlookers, kissed me. Over and over and over. We didn't part until we had to find air, and even then, I separated with the feeling of gravity being torn from my chest. My whole body was on fire; buzzing right down to my toes.

"Er." He pressed his forehead to mine, suddenly feeble. "Sorry. This was horrible romantic timing. What was I thinking?"

A shy Banri was a rare sight indeed. Laughing under my breath, a silly smile peeled back my lips. "I'm the one who tried kissing you in the middle of the school gymnasium. Believe me, a kiss in the rain like this is a lot more romantic."

His smile mirrored mine. The pad of his thumb caressed my cheek. "Be that as it may, you're my goddess. I owe it to you to shower you in tenderness and affection deserving of you. Not through words alone, I understand that now. Next time, I'll make the moment perfect. I won't let you feel insecure or doubtful ever again. I love you, Kisa."

"I love you too, Banri," I replied.

He leaned forward whereby I met him halfway. Our mouths locked once more. Softly, like the rain, yet the contact sent a shock through me like lightning. With soft touches, the kissing intensified. I drew him closer and closer, savouring this dream-like moment.

"Excuse me."

A foot. Tapping. Incessantly, against the pavement.

"I said excuse me!"

We stumbled apart.

Miss Akagi radiated a miasma of malice, dark and suffocating enough to be visible. I clutched Banri's blazer, steadying my exhilarating heart rate.

I was getting déjà vu.

"You realize you're on school property, don't you?" She hitched her chin in that gangster manner of hers. "Banri. Shiina. Let's have a chat."