Playing with Fire (Quid Pro Quo Series 01)

Beginning

I played safe. That's what my brothers and closest friends tell me repeatedly.

Everyone else in the world would consider me lucky. Everyone viewed my life as a fairytale turned into reality. Bakit nga naman kasi hindi? How things managed to unfold over the past few years could indeed be perceived as a magical story— it looked too good to be true for those who do not truly know what I had gone through behind closed doors.

I was born of privilege they say, being the only daughter of two of the wealthiest families in the world and being married to a family of the same caliber. Although in a sense it is true, I have always thought of my life differently. I believed for years that just like my parents, I will be able to marry out of love— the kind of love that I wanted for myself.

I wouldn't say I married completely without love...but this was far different from what I envisioned. As my best friends Coen, Pierre, and Nico would always tell my husband and I, we simply settled.

I settled for a love that did not make my heart full, but brought my heart peace. I settled for a love that did not bring me magic but brought me solemnity. I settled for a love that did not bring me surreal happiness but brought me a certain one.

After investing my heart into who I considered the greatest love of my life, being in a relationship with him for over a year, going through the toughest of times when we broke up, picking myself up from the mess I got myself into, this is where it led me.

I did not end up marrying Gavin Indigo Suárez.

Instead, I married one of my best friends, Enzo Enchavez, for convenience.

It has been years since I walked away from the life I had in the Philippines. When I left, I remember thinking that I would never have enough reason to come back. I was ready to forget everything that could ever possibly ignite my desire to ever do, and was decided on starting a completely new life.

After leaving, I have only visited the Philippines four times— all for necessary reasons. First was to apply for law school, second was when I graduated law school, third was when I took the BAR examinations and the fourth was when I checked on businesses and properties I had here mid-last year.

I have also cut contact with everyone I left behind. Only the school administration, my classmates in law school and a handful of friends knew I still had a thin connection with my life here. For years, knowing that I was away from the place that scarred and haunted me gave me a sense of comfort. However, now that I am back, I honestly feel better than I had anticipated. I do not feel sad or scared nor am I happy and excited...but I do not feel to familiar to it either. The best way to describe how I feel now is indifference. 

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have just landed at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport. On behalf of your flight crew headed by Captain Henares with First Officer Serrano and the rest of the team, we welcome you to Manila."

The announcement made it all feel a little bit more real. I looked out my window and sighed, this is really happening. "Having second thoughs? We could still back out." pabirong sabi ni Enzo sa tabi ko.

I chuckled and rolled my eyes, "I don't think so. Your cousin got his eyes on us." nguso ko kay Coen na nakasilip sa amin mula sa kanyang seat.

We originally did not intend on coming back this soon. All of our efforts for our careers here in the Philippines were just back-up plans. We're still not here to practice our profession but we couldn't really call this trip a vacation either. Coen, one of my best friends, is an international renowned artist. He's currently on tour and he has specifically requested for us to join him here as we all have not been home for a long while.