What the frik are all the Naruto Characters doing here?

What the Frik Are All the Naruto Characters Doing Here? Chapter 3

Then she flings herself onto him while wrapping her arms around him. Gaara flinches, his face utterly bewildered as he glances around, and he inquires, “What are you doing?”

“Giving you a hug, buddy!” my hyperactive sister shouts. Gaara glances around and grumbles, “Can you get off of me?”

“Sure thing buddy,” she agrees then goes back to Akamaru. Tsukii and I shout as we point to the Naruto characters, “YOU!”

“YOU!” they yell back reactively. And, of course, Alyson has to be random and shout, “ME!”

After a long pause of silence, I hold up my finger to show ‘one-minute’. “Uh, stay right there. Family meeting!”

            Alyson skips over to Tsukii and I as we all have our backs to the guys. Alyson immediately whispers, “Dibs on the canine!”

“Which one? Akamaru or Kiba?” Tsukii questions, and Alyson confusingly decides with innocent, shining eyes, “Um…. both?”

“Well I call the transvestite,” Tsukii states, crossing her arms, and I shrug. “Well, I call the panda! And yes Alyson, you can still be his friend.”

“Yay!” She claps her hands then skips back over to Akamaru, who gladly appreciates the scratching from Alyson.

“I’m sorry, but do we know you?” Kakashi asks sheepishly, rubbing his head in embarrassment for not knowing who we were. An awkward silence ensued, in which I tried to think of something to say.

“Well, the thing is…” I start out, “I’m Matsuri Lore, to my right is Tsukii Lore, and the one by Akamaru is Alyson Lore. We’re all adopted sisters. The only reason we know who you are is because in this dimension, you’re an anime called Naruto. Other than that, you don’t exist. We happen to love the anime, it being one of the most popular in the world, and we recognized you immediately.” I finish lamely, wincing at their dumbfounded faces.

“Bull Shit.” Sasuke replies lamely, as we glare at him.

“You mean it’s named after me?!” Naruto rejoices, eyes shining with excitement and pride.

“Don’t get to happy about it, idiot,” Tsukii replies, smirking, “Your entire life is in books and on television. We’ve seen every one of your stupid, most horrifying moments…Like when Shikamaru bumped you into kissing Sasuke. Yeah… We could tell you enjoyed that one, hm?” She snickers at the others astonished faces, while Alyson and I laughed out.

“You want proof? You can come over to our house, we live there alone so don’t worry about being seen, and we can show you a couple of episodes.” I offer them.

“It’s a trap, un! You think we’re that stupid, un?” Deidara replies, a bit on the defensive side.

“Un un un un un un un un un!” Tsukii giggles. Holy Shit. She just giggled.

Ignoring them completely, Naruto steps forward and shouts in my face, “Yeah! Do we really look that stupid to you? How stupid do you think we are?”

Another awkward silence came forth, but was broken by Alyson’s quick answer.

“I’d really rather not answer that…” Laughter bursts through the now broken silence as I thought of the one way to get them to come.

“Naruto,” I call out in a demanding voice and he turns towards me angrily, but I make my voice sound persuasive, “We have ramen.”

Every one else in his group groans in defeat, but we have a victorious spark in our eyes.

Naruto turns to the groups with sparkly eyes full of hope and Sasuke is first to give in.

“Fine…” Sasuke mutters and the others give in after him with a ‘whatever’, and a ‘what else can we do anyway?’.  The only one that doesn’t answer is Gaara. He just glares at us, particularly at me. What did I do?! Oh… He heard the panda remark, didn’t he? Hehehe…. Oops.

Akamaru stands up with Alyson on his back and Alyson shouts that she’ll lead the way. Lee and Gai walked next to each other, praising the landscape. Apparently they enjoy abandoned fields. At least we have some things in common! Naru Chan gets distracted, so Sasu Chan grabs his hand and leads him the correct way. They were so gay for each other.  How cute!

Tsukii treads quietly beside Deidara, her beloved transvestite, and braids his hair between her lean fingers. He glances at her, and loosens his ponytail. Those two sure have hit it off.

I look over to find Gaara several feet ahead of me.  I run up to him and trip on a stone. Goddamn stone! Making me look like an idiot. I close my eyes, waiting for the impact, but instead feel sand pushing me upright. My eyes widen in surprise and I see Gaara glaring at me.

“Sand.” I say dumbly, pointing to the sand slithering back to its gourd. 

“No.” He replies, his voice laced with sarcasm. He turned to continue walking, readjusting his gourd to spread the weight evenly over his shoulder.

“Wait!” I call out, and smile when he turns around. He nods imperceptibly for me to go on. “I haven’t had a good day today; they ran out of steak flavored ramen, Alyson dropped her mupcake, Tsukii and I flew into a wall, my math teacher actually did lose weight, and my stomach has been hurting all day. Can I ride home on your sand? I have wanted to do that all of my life. Please?” He contemplates my request and says, “If it will keep you quiet. Now shut up.”

             I laugh happily in excitement as sand surrounds me and lifts me into the air. I felt a freedom that I had never felt before, I saw everyone form above squabbling over the stupidest of things, I could feel the wind in my hair and I giggle.

            Then, as I rose to a height of about twenty feet, I remembered: I’m afraid of heights. I’m afraid of goddamn heights. Shit.

            “Hey!” I call out, but when no one turns around I shout “Let me down! I’m afraid of heights! Help! Hello? Get me down! Get me down right now! Get me down right fuc-CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” BAM. “p.” In the middle of my ranting, Gaara released his sand and sent me spiraling down to earth.

            “I told you to be quiet, didn’t I?” He asks coldly. Screw you. Go to Hell. Die in a hole filled with fan girls on fire. He flinches and a look of fear passes over his face so quickly I must be imagining it. Then it hits me. I said all of that out loud.

            I quicken my pace and continue to walk beside him until his defense is down. Not wasting my one and only chance, I taze him as hard as I possibly can and run away to Naru Chan laughing my head off, while Gaara clutches his sides and doubles over in pain.

            “We’re off to see the wizard the wonderful wizard of Oz!” comes floating through the air, and we all look up to see Alyson singing.

“Come on dog boy!” She calls to an offended looking Kiba, ”Sing Toto’s part! Just say woof when I pause! We’re off to see the wizard…”

“…Woof woof…” Kiba woofed half-heartedly. “The wonderful Wizard of Oz!” “…Woof woof…” “Because, Because…” The words and woofs blend together as we arrive at our home, a house that had never felt so much like home as it did now.