The screaming crowd, the bouquets
"You never told me where we're going." I said for the hundredth time.
We had been driving for a while. So long, I swore I was getting kidnapped.
"If you're going to kill me, can you tell Elyse to do a natural makeup look, and tell Myles to get LL Cool J to perform. OH! Tell Maia I want chrysanthemums for my flowers." I shrugged.
"No one is going to kill you, J. I just wanted a location as private as possible, and now we're here." He pulled into a park.
I kept my eyes out the window, taking in the scenery before me. He was right, it was pretty secluded. There were two other cars parked and none of the passengers were in sight.
E came around to open my door. Placing my hand in his, I accepted his aid to step out of his truck. I looked down and noticed a picnic basket in his hands.
"Aww, a picnic. How adorable." I scrunched my nose, giving him a smile.
E only chuckled, then proceeded to guide me to our spot. Once he found one that was perfect, he set everything up.
Laid out before us, was fruit and sandwiches cut into tiny squares, water and wine to drink, canvases and acrylic paint, and a mini radio.
"I hope you know how to paint." He raised a brow.
"Well I'm no Picasso, but I can do a little some-some." I waved my hand.
We sat down and started our "date".
"I know we've gotten to know each other, but you're still so mysterious to me. Have you always been this way?" I tilted my head.
I wanted to take the opportunity to poke at his brain a little bit.
"No. I was actually the complete opposite. An open book, if you will. I was always with my family and friends, and honestly didn't think I could ever leave them. Then I did." He finished.
I gave him a look, wanting him to go deeper, and he continued.
"I was in a relationship for a long time. She was everything to me. We did everything together, and made plans to get married and start a family one day. We always talked about the future. Looking back, we probably did that too much. It kept me blind sided to how she was. One day she just went crazy on me and I was confused. We'd have disagreements, but we never argued. After that blow up, we argued every day. It was taking a lot out of me mentally and emotionally, to the point where I couldn't be around anyone out of fear that I would lash out on them. I finally had a cool, calm, and collected conversation with her about her behavior. We broke up."
"Oh.. E, I'm sorry." I gave him sad eyes.
"It's fine. I found out later from a mutual friend that she was going through some things, and knew it was for the best. Let her get herself together and I do the same. I didn't think we'd be apart long, but here I am years later." He shrugged.
"When did this new E come out, then?" I inquired.
"During my time of self-reevaluation, I noticed I spent too much time around my family and friends, and even more time with my ex, so I wanted to get away. Once I went off to college, I really never looked back. I was always here or there, never kept a job for long because I was hitting the next city or state. Some times, even a new country. I just didn't like the feeling of being tied to anything, anymore."
I was puzzled. This was all because of a high school sweetheart? Wow.
"Well you still have a chance to go back to that old E, ya know?" I told him.
"Yeah, and I'm trying now."
"Well, remember you said we'd do this together?" I smirked.
"Of course I do. Speaking of, what made you the way you are?" He looked at me.
I bit my lip. I didn't want to make my family seem like bad people, but I couldn't ignore my truth. I sighed.
"When I was little, I had just one sibling for the longest. They wanted her to be just like me. We dressed the same, did all of the same activities, did everything together. I resented her for it, for a little bit, because I wanted her to be herself and not follow me around. As we got older, more siblings came, and she grew into her own person. I was happy, and we grew closer. However, now I have 4 more siblings I have to go through the same thing with. I felt... caged. I couldn't make any mistakes. So everything I did, I did with my siblings and parents in mind. I never thought about myself once. When I graduated, I took the chance to leave and, like you, I didn't look back. I call when I can and visit when I can, but I feel more free when I'm away from them. Then when I met Dorien, the cycle started again. He would cheat, and I knew he was, and I would take him back. It wasn't until Elyse finally got it through to me that I was the reason he kept acting the way he did. Because I was enabling it. Then, I broke up with him." I said in one breath.
