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~Tsukiyama~ 🖤

                                     ————-

"I can't do this anymore Tsukki." Yamaguchi said with a low voice after the 6th physical strike that the other inflicted on him.

Tsukishima stiffened and lowered his hand, looking at his boyfriend with a completely baffled expression.

"...what?" His question expressed genuine curiosity, like he didn't see the damage he was causing.

Was this guy fucking nuts ??

"I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!!" He screamed, fists balling at his sides and tears starting to show at the corner of his eyes.

He was so so done.

His friends were right, this was the worst relationship he's ever seen.

And it was his own.

"What, Tadashi are you-" Tsukishima tried to use the trick he used multiple times, apologizing (well, fake apologizing) with stutters and stammers, like it would make him look less guilty.

It always made me forgive him, Tadashi thought

"Shut up Tsukishima, just shut up!" Tadashi said, effectively making the other boy mad but quiet.

The glare the blonde boy sent him was terrifying -it made the air feel stuffy and it felt like every wall of the living room they shared was enclosing on him-but he stood his ground.

He wouldn't allow himself to back down now that he started it.

He just wanted to be happy.

He just needed to be free.

Free from the manipulation, free from the abuse damn- he just wanted to be free from this claws that the other had on him, claws that never actually left him alone.

"I gave you all you wanted and more, I gave you every piece of me!"  Tadashi argued and screamed with tears streaming down his face because it was true- oh how fucking true it was. 

He gave himself up, his heart, his mind, his body and his soul, completely surrendered himself to the boy in front of him and the other took full advantage of that.

He took full advantage of Tadashi's kindness, he took full advantage of Tadashi's patience, he took full advantage of his mind, soul and body and he took full advantage of Yamaguchi's love.

"Well every piece of you is not enough! You're not enough! What do you want from me Tadashi, fucking tell me!" Tsukishima argued back, his voice full of manipulation and venom, something that Yamaguchi only noticed now.

How he wished he had noticed it sooner.

Maybe his words would hurt less.

"I just want your love for free!" He confessed because that, that was truly what he wanted.

Love.

And his want for love ruined him.

"Can't you tell that I'm getting bored, you need to try harder, work harder for me to love you. You do know that I'm the only person that will ever love you right? You can't leave me when I'm the only one who is willing to show you what love is."

And he felt so stupid because that phrase would have convinced him on the past.

It would've made him apologize and beg for the blonde not to leave him, not to stop loving him.

How things change huh!

"What you give me isn't love!" Tadashi screamed while crying harder, the air getting harder to intake and the walls even closer than before but he couldn't stop now.

Not now, not ever.

"What are you talking about?! I stayed with you through thick and thin and I loved you-"

"Did you? Did you really fucking love me Tsukishima? Let me answer that for you: YOU DIDNT. You don't love me now and you never loved me. Your version of 'love', your twisted way of loving is not real love! It's manipulating a-and lying and it's not love! It's just you forcing someone to stay locked in your cage, your stupid emotional cage, while you roam around, completely free and unharmed."

"Tada-"

"It's just you catching a stray pet and mistreating it, hoping it will stay by your side because you picked it off the streets. Well guess what, the streets were much better than your cage! Because even though the cage has food, water and a place to stay, it doesn't have fucking freedom. It leaves you alone with some rare moments of happiness because the owner decided to open the cage for a few seconds, the owner provides him temporary freedom. That's exactly what your love is. A cage. A cage I regret ever entering because... because this cage broke me. It broke me so bad, and I'm done, I'm so fucking done and all I beg is for you to let me free."

"I can't handle it anymore for fucks sake."

His tears had stopped falling by now, his voice still broken but holding a certain tone that he didn't have before. The tone of freedom.

And now, now that he shut up and left space for the other to lie one more time... Tsukishima stayed quiet.

He stood quiet because he knew that what Tadashi said was true.

He was a manipulator and an abuser both physically and mentally, things that he never wanted to be.

And even though he knew that the green haired boy was right...

Tsukishima started crying all of the sudden.

He fell to his knees and openly cried in front of Tadashi for the first time in his life.

He had flung his glasses across the room, his hands gripping his own hair tightly and his breath labored. He looked like he was 2 seconds away from passing out and Tadashi didn't know what to do.

On one side, he didn't want to move. After all, the man that was crying in front of him was the one that ruined his life, the man that trapped him and manipulated his strings like a puppet but on the other side, he was also the man he slept with.

He was the man that convinced him to buy an apartment so that they could share, the man that woke up early on Thursdays to cook breakfast for the both of them because he knows how much Tadashi hates Thursdays, the man that he loved.

His mind told him to leave, leave this cage because it was now or never. If he stayed now, he would never be able to escape Tsukishima's abusive cage, no matter how hard he tried.

In the end, his stupid heart won over his mind and he silently walked towards the blonde, hugging him as soon as he was close enough and giving him comforting words so that the other could stop crying.

He knew he was being stupid, he really did, but he couldn't bare to leave Tsukishima alone. Not when he was breaking down, not when he was crying in his arms and not ever.

They stayed in comfortable silence for the next minutes, just enjoying each other's presence when the blonde suddenly apologized.

And Yamaguchi doesn't know why, he really doesn't, but this time....

...he believes it again.

In the end... he never got out of the cage.

                                      1644 words

Ib: Prettytsutomu on TikTok
🎶bored🎶 by Billie Eilish (some modifications)

A/N: Lol, it's angst week. Enjoy and suffer :)