Not All Fun and Games

Chapter 8

I go to bed early.
Lying in my tent, I can't stop thinking. Finally, I tell myself to snap out of it. I don't care about Bellamy. I don't care if he's mad at me. In fact, he's being immature and irresponsible. We are not a couple. I wouldn't even say we're friends. And if we used to be, we aren't anymore.
Maybe it's better this way, more professional.
And then, just as I'm about to drift off to sleep, another memory comes.

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"Follow me, Clarke," whispers Bellamy. We stop dancing, and he pulls me by the hand. He leads us into the drop ship, and then up the stairs.
I look out the window, into the forest.
"Why are we here?" I ask him.
"Come on," he says, opening the window.
"What are you doing?" I question curiously. I hadn't even realized that the window could open.
"Clarke, do you trust me?"
"Hah. Should I?" I scoff.
"Of course! I saved your life, remember?"
It's true. On our second day here, he caught me when I was about to fall into a deadly grounder trap.
"Fine," I say, giving in.
Bellamy climbs through the window.
"What the hell are you doing? You're drunk, you're gonna fall!"
"Sometimes you have to take the risk, Princess."
I roll my eyes.
He disappears, but then I see his hand in the window. He's on the roof.
"I can't believe I'm about to do this," I mutter to myself, laughing uneasily.
I take his hand and climb through the window. He helps me up on top of the roof. I can't help but look down. I'm relieved when I see there's grass on the ground under us.
"Are you crazy? Don't look down!" He says.
I laugh, sitting down next to him.
"How many girls have you brought up here?"
"I don't know, I lost count after six. Yeah, you're not that special."
I make a mock pouty face, which I'd never do sober. "Ass hole."
He laughs. "You're actually the first one. So don't tell anyone about it. I wouldn't want an army of jealous girls in front of my tent when I wake up tomorrow."
I roll my eyes, but I'm secretly flattered.
A light breeze runs down my spine and I shiver. I left my jacket in my tent.
"You cold, Princess?"
"I'm fine."
I'm startled when Bellamy removes his shirt, wrapping it around me.
I don't take my eyes off his torso for a few seconds, staring at his perfectly chiseled chest and stomach.
I force myself to turn away, embarrassed. I see the sides of Bellamy's lips curl up in a grin.
"This isn't necessary, Bellamy."
"Just keep it, Clarke. You're cold."
"Okay, but tell me if you want it back."
"Yeah, right."
I look at him. He's looking up at the stars.
It's pretty amazing up here. The clear view of the stars, the background sounds of the swaying trees in the wind and the camp below us.
But what really makes this spot so special is being here with Bellamy.
The drunk, sweet, funny, shirtless Bellamy.
I move closer towards him, leaning my head on his shoulder.
He takes his eyes off the stars and looks at me.
"What do you think?"
My eyes don't move away from his.
"It's beautiful."
Bellamy smiles, looking at his lap for a few seconds before looking back at me.
"You're beautiful."
I close my eyes, breathing deeply. I never thought I'd hear those words come out of him. But now that they have, it's the only thing I ever want to hear again.
When I open my eyes, Bellamy's face is much closer to mine than it had been before. I feel his breath on my neck. His eyes close, but mine remain open.
I feel his hand on the back of my head. I place mine on his chest.
With every bone in my body, I want to lean in and kiss him. I want to run my fingers through his hair. I want to wrap myself around his strong, warm body.
But somehow, something stops me.
Just as our noses touch, I pull away.
"Bellamy, I can't."
His eyes open but do not meet mine. Instead, they look to the ground.
"Sorry." Is all I can say before standing up and climbing back through the window, leaving him alone on the roof.