Hermitcraft Nonsense - S8 Oneshots

Ocean Excursion / Boatem Crew

WC: 1.4k
Written: 4 July 2021
Characters: Pearl, Grian, Mumbo, Scar, Impulse
Tags: Fluff, humor, water fights, takes place after the first episodes
Warnings: None

Look at that shiny new tagging system I DEFINITELY didn't steal from saphixe-

(But, seriously, Saph, I love the idea for this tagging system, so thank you for the idea <3)

Anyway, first oneshot of S8, let's go :D I really love the dynamics of the boatem crew this season, so have one centered around them and their antics. Enjoy!

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Pearl hadn't expected a simple task like axolotl hunting to spawn such a mess.

It started when Impulse had asked her if she wanted to go looking for axolotls with him. Since she had already acquired one of the creatures herself, Impulse was hoping she could show him where she had found it.

Pearl had readily agreed, of course. She figured the small excursion would be a nice break from all the work they'd been doing in the village lately.

When she had met Impulse by the shore the next day, though, she was surprised to see the other residents of the village waiting with him, too.

"What's all this?" she asked, bemused.

Impulse grinned at her sheepishly. "I made the mistake of inviting Mumbo. He then told Grian, who told Scar, and...well, here we are."

"What do you lot even want to do with axolotls, anyway? Like, Mumbo and Impulse I can understand, for farms and such, but—"

"Oh, I just wanted one for a pet," Scar said. "It can be my building buddy!"

Pearl looked expectantly at Grian, but her friend had just shrugged. "I dunno, man. I just wanted to come along for the ride."

Pearl sighed, but she was amused by their antics nevertheless. "Alright. Well, everyone grab a boat. I'll show you where I found my axolotl."

After sailing out for a short while, Pearl stopped her boat and pointed straight down. "Here we go. I found a few here, maybe they're still around."

Grian rolled up his sleeves and jumped in right away, splashing Mumbo, who was his boat buddy, in the process. "Hey!" Mumbo shouted, though he was fighting back a grin. He jumped in, too, and immediately attempted to kick water at Grian.

Grian just leaned his head to the side, avoiding the water easily. Laughing, he said, "Jeez, you have terrible aim, Mumbo."

Mumbo's next water splash nailed Grian right in the face.

Impulse peered over Pearl's shoulder and snorted at the two water-fighting. "Anyway. While those two splash each other, I'm gonna look for those axolotls."

After drinking a water-breathing potion he kept in his front pocket, he pulled out a shulker box filled with buckets from his inventory. "I came prepared!"

Pearl stifled a laugh. "Wow, Impulse, how many axolotls are you planning to get?"

"Just two, so I can breed them."

"So...why so many buckets?"

"You mean you don't have a designated bucket box?"

His face showed no sign that he was kidding. Pearl just shook her head, mystified.

"Ah. Well, it does come in handy sometimes."

Before Pearl could remark on that, Impulse dove headfirst into the water, pausing in his search for axolotls only to tug on Grian's leg, dragging him under.

Pearl turned to Scar, who had been the odd one out when rowing out here and had gotten a boat to himself. "Hey, aren't you gonna go get your building buddy, Scar?"

"Oh, yeah, in a bit!" Scar said cheerfully. "Impulse can go ahead, I'll join later."

Pearl shrugged and nodded, tipping herself sideways into the ocean. The water was perfect—not too warm, not too cold. She let herself float for a bit before she got splashed with a mouthful of water.

Grian popped up next to her, his sweater sopping wet. (Why he hadn't changed outfits before they'd gone out, Pearl didn't know. That sweater wasn't going to be fun to clean later.) "Surprise," he said with a cheeky grin.

"I'll get you for that." Pearl tried to lunge at him, but Grian easily swam to the side. She ended up going a mini belly flop into the water, and she came up spluttering.

"Oops." Grian didn't look very apologetic, but Pearl knew it was all in good fun. Before she could retaliate, Grian was suddenly splashed in the back by a huge amount of seawater.

"I stole some of Impulse's buckets!" Mumbo said triumphantly, hefting said bucket over his shoulder. "Try topping that, will you, mate?"

Grian rolled his eyes and swam over to Pearl and Impulse's boat, where Impulse's self-proclaimed bucket shulker box was sitting. He got out a bucket himself, scooping up a heavy load of water, and threw it at Mumbo.

"Man, if you think you have the upper hand, the last thing you do is reveal how you got there," he lectured.

Mumbo tried to think of a retort, but he failed. Instead, he splashed water at Grian again, dousing him thoroughly.

"Am I going to be the only one who's gonna be dry when we row back to the village?" Scar, who had stayed in his little boat up until that point, called to the group.

He shouldn't have said anything, Pearl thought. Mumbo and Grian glanced at each other for a millisecond before they both scooped up water with their buckets and raced towards Scar. Naturally, Grian got there first, and Scar got a head-to-toe dousing.

"Hey!" Scar yelped, spitting out a mouthful of water. "Do you guys realize what I'm wearing? My suit is delicate!"

Grian frowned. "So, then...why did you wear it to go out to the ocean?"

"Uh...flawed thinking?" Scar's voice went up an octave at the end, making the statement sound more like a question. Mumbo burst into laughter behind Grian. Pearl couldn't hold back a grin, though she felt sorry for Scar...and his suit.

Grian chuckled, shaking his head. "You know, Scar, you're the only person I know who would legitimately make a mistake like that." He splashed another bucket of water at Scar.

"Grian! This suit is made out of silk!! It shrinks in warm water!"

"Hey, if I wore my wool sweater to the ocean, your silk suit is getting wet, too!"

Poor Scar tried to retaliate, but he was staunchly refusing to stay in his boat. That made him an easier target for Grian, which meant he was still getting wet as much as he would have if he had actually gone into the water. Grian just kept splashing him with water bucket after water bucket. Mumbo decided to join in the fun, too, so Scar got a double-splashing.

After Scar had received a dozen bucket splashes, Impulse decided to rejoin the party. He poked his head out of the water, grinning with satisfaction as he lifted two buckets out of the water. An axolotl poked its head out of each bucket, squeaking happily.

"Guys, look what I found!"

His smile faltered a bit as he took in the scene in front of him: Mumbo and Grian each holding one of his buckets, Pearl watching off to the side, watching the chaos unfold, and poor Scar stubbornly still in his boat, drenched in seawater and looking disgruntled.

When Impulse spoke, his voice was drier than any of them were. "So. Did I miss anything?"