You're Like Coming Home

4.

"And it wasn't that it was a bad kiss," Addison continued to ramble as the two of them laid in their beds later that night. "That's not it at all. It's that it was a really good kiss. One of the best kisses ever. But he's...Mark. He's arrogant and cocky, but...God, Mer, that was the best kiss ever."

"Mmhmm," Meredith mumbled, not really listening as her best friend went on and on about her perfect kiss. Since they had gotten back to their room, Addison had been freaking out about realizing her desire for the boy across the hall, and Meredith had listened only partially, the majority of her mind still lost in Derek's deep blue eyes. There was something about him that made her feel completely safe, and she couldn't believe how captivating his gaze was.

Derek Shepherd. Even his name sounded perfect as she rolled it around in her head. She wasn't sure why she was thinking like this, being the girl who obsessed over the boy with the perfect hair. She'd never been that girl before, and was instead more interested in partying with Addison and their friends from high school than she had been in messing around with boys. But now...she couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to be with him. There had definitely been a spark when he'd taken her hand, gently massaging the back of her hand with his thumb, and she could only imagine what it would be like to be wrapped in his arms.

"Mer?" Addison asked, propping herself up on her elbows. "Are you still awake?"

"Hmm?" Meredith asked. "Sorry, Addie, I was just...thinking."

Addison flopped back onto her back. "So what do you think I should do?" she asked.

"We just started college," Meredith replied. "This is our second night here. We haven't even started classes yet. We can't fall for anyone right now?"

There was a long silence in the room, and Addison finally asked, "We?"

Meredith cursed herself in her head, hoping that she could cover herself okay. She didn't want Addison to know about her feelings towards Derek. "You," she said quickly. "I meant you."

"You were talking to Mark's roommate on the porch," Addison stated. "Mer, do you like him?"

"No!" Meredith cried. "I can't like him. I don't even know him. And I'm here for school. So no. I don't like him."

Addison was silent, and Meredith could swear she could hear her smirking. "We can't let them win though."

"Win what?" Meredith asked tiredly. Suddenly she couldn't wait until classes started on Monday so she could have something to focus on rather than Addison's games.

"The game," Addison rolled her eyes. "They're playing us, Mer, waiting for us to give in first. And we can't let that happen. If we want any power in these relationships, we can't let them win."

"There is no relationship," Meredith said. "And there won't be."

"Good," Addison replied. "That's the attitude we need to have around them so we can make sure they know where we stand." She paused for a moment, a smile playing over her lips. "I can't believe it, my little Meredith is finally starting to show emotions for a boy."

"I'm going to sleep," Meredith rolled her eyes, turning onto her side to face the wall, her back towards Addison. She heard Addison shift around as well, getting comfortable before the room was quiet, leaving Meredith alone with her thoughts.

The last thought in her mind as she drifted off to sleep was of the way Derek's eyes had told her that she was special, and he wanted to know her forever.

XXXXXX

"Oh, God," Meredith muttered under her breath as she and Addison sat at a corner table in the cafeteria the next morning. She ducked her head closer to the table, trying to hide her face behind a newspaper.