Hannam Hill : Jikook

The Engagement

***

Inside the study, Jimin walked to the bookshelf, instantly resting his forehead against it, taking slow, deep breathes.

What a fool he had been!

Thinking back, it had been the evening in the Tavern with Mr Min, when he had he first allowed his feelings for Jungkook to rise. Feelings that had grown confidently over the months.

And after the kiss they shared, he had accepted that he was in love with Jungkook. A real love. A passionate love. The sort his late sister Jenny had always talked about.

He had been prepared to risk it all. To risk societies damnation, just to be with that man.

But now... Now he had to find a way to rein in that love, to erase what had grown and accept Jungkook would never be 'His Mr Jeon'

He truly was a fool!

Jimin breathed deep a little longer, finally feeling some strength return and went about looking for the book he came for.

Seeing it resting on a higher shelf, he reached up, falling short of gaining it. He tried again, a little further on the balls of his feet but still failed to gain purchase.

The library steps were just across the room, but he could not muster the energy to fetch them, so he tried one more time, stretching up, suddenly feeling the warmth of someone at his back. Then, a hand stretching over his own, taking the book effortlessly down from the shelf.

He knew without looking it was Jungkook, and as he turned slowly, Jimin found himself in the arms of his handsome neighbour.

"You were gone a while, I thought you might need help finding the book" Jungkook mumbled nervously, his arm wrapped half around Jimin's back.

"Thank you, all is good. It just took me a little longer to remember where I put it" Jimin lied. His tone polite and formal, as though they had not been quite intimate in that very same room just a month before.

An awkward silence followed, whilst Jungkook did not feel the need to put space between them.

"I -I am so very sorry, for the way I acted that day, when I last saw you" Jungkook began, whispering sincerely.

"My behaviour was very ungentlemanly and the kiss - it was..."

"STOP!" Jimin interrupted abruptly, finally putting some distance between them.

"Please, let's not discuss it." He added quickly.

Jimin didn't know what Jungkook was about to say, but the idea he might suggest the kiss was a mistake was too much to bear. To hear that perfect moment, which had occupied his mind constantly, was an error, would surely shatter him into pieces. Instead, he took charge of the conversation.

"You came here today to celebrate your coming nuptials. So, I congratulate you on your engagement. Miss Chambers is a very... accomplished woman. I'm sure you will be happy together"

Jungkook tried to speak again, but Jimin did not allow him. He needed to start building a wall back around his heart. Needed to start putting some distance between them.

"Listening to Miss Chambers stories has made me quite jealous. I think maybe it's time I grew up and also looked to find a wife" he said with conviction.

Those words physically forced Jungkook back a step, who instantly remembered the day of his own dinner party where Jimin told everyone that he would most likely never marry. That he wouldn't settle for anything other than passionate love. When he thought back, that had been the moment he had stated to fall for Jimin Park, and hearing him talk so frivolously about finding a wife was upsetting.

He wanted to challenge Jimin about the statement, find out what he meant. It hurt to see him act so coldly, and not allow him to explain the situation that led to the engagement or how he needed to protect Hannam from his Uncle.

But, as a rustle across the room gained their attention, they turned to find Hope standing in the doorway, and Jungkook lost his chance to talk to Jimin more.

Instead he watched his neighbour march across the room in an instant, clearly thankful to find an exit to the conversation.

"Please could you kindly take the book, I must excuse myself from returning. I think the meal has disagreed with my stomach" Jimin lied, handing the novel over to Hope, then left the two Jeon siblings alone.

Hope allowed Jimin to pass by while her gaze was fixed on Jungkook and the twisted look of pain he held in his eyes.

Her brother had always been a quiet, proud man. Growing up, he had always taken burdens upon himself and shielded Hope from as much pain as possible. Because of that, Hope never really knew how her brother was feeling inside, but that didn't stop her trying to help.

"Brother, you look very troubled?" she tried, expecting him to wave away her concern.

But instead, he turned to face her, tears welling in his eyes, and distress brimming from his lips and Hope knew that something was very different.

"I've made such a mess of things. I don't know what to do?" he uttered desperately.

Hope wiped a stray tear away from Jungkook's face, feeling her own heart ache for him.

"We will find an answer, brother. We will work it out" she promised

"Let's get you home, and we will sort it all out".