It's You | yakulev

22- toast that led to a kiss

"You think falling in love is about holding on; but it isn't. It is about hands gripping the edge of the world and letting go; one finger at a time.

Take a deep breath— here comes the drop.
I know it's your first time here,
but soon you'll get used to the motion;
the headlong dive into the deep.
Just go with it.

You only get one chance to fall in love with
your heart still whole."

— Lang Leav, 'The edge of the world'

☆
The clock counted by the seconds, the minutes and the hours. It's well past 4pm now, both boys were knocked out in the living room. All was quiet except for the light snoring of the smaller boy.

Lev's POV:

My chest feels lighter now the pressure that was on my ribs is gone. My body, especially my left hand, feels warm all over.

I opened my eyes slowly, letting them adjust to the lights above me. Just a moment ago I was drowning in a lake, and now... My eyes drifted down to the familiar sight of soft caramel-coloured hair. His hand was holding mine and I had a look at his face that was turned towards me. His eyes were puffy and he wore a troubled expression. I frowned. Yaku-san? Did he save me? Had he been crying? Was he alright?

Suddenly, all my memories came crashing back into my head. Short clips of the tragic event that just happened flashed through my mind and the room began to spin. I sat up, feeling a tight pain crush my chest. I groaned in discomfort as a sudden dryness in my throat sent me into coughing fits.

Instantly, Yaku shot up and his eyes frantically darted around his surroundings, before landing on me.

"THANK GOD YOU'RE AWAKE YOU BIG IDIOT DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED I WAS?" He yelled, grabbing my hands. Though his eyes softened at the sight of me awake, they blazed with fear and anger.

"Y-Yaku-san I'm alright.." I sputtered out, taken aback by how livid he was. It was the first time I'd seen him this mad at me and I was confused why he was acting so aggressively towards me right now.

"DON'T SAY THAT LIKE ITS A SMALL THING!" He was closer to me now, his face just inches away.

"YOU COULD HAVE F*CKING DIED!" He screamed in my face. He flinched and then paused for a moment, then leaned back a little to keep an appropriate distance. At this, I noticed the anger in his eyes had washed away to something else.

I looked back at him, a little bit frightened, and noticed tears brimming in his eyes. I was about to say something but was cut off as his head fell on my chest. He clutched my hoodie tightly with shaking hands, and then looked back up at me.

"You could have died." He repeated with a trembling voice, softer this time. The look on his face was...something else. It looked as though he had just witnessed a car crash involving someone he knew. That look of utter despair, vulnerability, anguish, whatever you name it— it all unfolded in his bloodshot eyes like an intricate piece of origami. He inhaled sharply, and threw his arms around my neck, digging his fingers into the hair at the back of my head.

I was shocked.

Never in my life...would I have thought Yaku-san would ever show this side of him. Right now, he was a mess— powerless, with pain written all over his face— it looked as though he'd been tortured mentally while waiting for me to wake. It was painful to see him like this. Yet all I could do was embrace him. I could feel him clenching his fists, not knowing whether to be mad or relieved or happy all together. I felt as though I could hear him silently screaming against the torrent of emotions in his head, struggling with each breath he took holding onto his pride.