The Hours We Have

chapter thirty-seven

Mikeal also wielded a gun. The dark metal rested in both his hands, finger resting off the trigger, and he approached Ezra with a vacated gaze. "You don't want to go to jail for murder, it's not worth it." 

"I don't care," Ezra stomped on the hand of the nameless boy, as the pathetic coward had tried to escape by crawling along the pavement. I heard fingers break and the nameless boy hissed. 

One of the boys, who was younger than his friends, turned and ran out of the alley. His frantic footsteps echoing long after his disappearance. The other two boys stayed hesitantly, watching their leader with hard expressions. It was clear they were outnumbered with my brothers but their loyalty stilled lied in question.

"You don't want to do this," Mikeal said calmly.

"Do you fucking see what they've done?" Ezra's dark eyes were stormy as they clashed with Mikeal's cold blue ones. "They've beat our fucking siblings and you want to do nothing? Fuck no, I'm not like you, Mikeal. They hurt me, I give it right back," He then dug his foot into the nameless boy's shoulder, "Ten fucking times worse." 

I almost jumped out of my battered skin when I felt a hand land on my shoulder.

 Why was time passing so slowly for me but so quickly around me?

I was partially propped up on my elbows, as far as my body would allow me to move, and my head whipped to the side where I saw Julian. He had tears in his eyes, "Jordyn? Oh god." His shaking fingers gently cupped my face. 

Everything came back to me and another sob ripped free from my throat. "F-Finley..." 

"Shh," He uttered softly and I wasn't sure if he was trying to calm me or himself, perhaps both of us. Finley had been both of our lifelines when it had gotten dark. He wrapped his arms around me and gently pulled my head against his chest.

I grabbed his shirt and squeezed so hard my fingers felt like they would break. My entire chest hurt like hell and it wasn't because I had taken a beating, my heart had broken into a million pieces and every shard was embedded in my lungs. 

I knew the pain of losing someone, I knew the grief that would come, but my love for Finley had been from a fractured heart; after my parents had put that crack there, and now my heart was just simply shattered. There was no pain worse than losing the one that gave me happy memories after all the sad ones. 

We lived in a sad reality, even when we tried to be happy. 

I wasn't sure how long Julian sat with me on the pavement, holding me as I cried. Perhaps only seconds. In between painful gasps, I came to realize that Julian's heart was almost so loud in his chest, it was like the organ was trying to break free of his ribcage. His breaths were shorter, and his cheek was wet as it rested atop my head. Both of us were crying and neither of us could stop. 

Out of the corner of my blurry vision, I saw someone move and I quickly blinked to decipher Roman. He had managed to move to the wall of the alley and he propped himself against it.

Suddenly, I saw him in my nightmare. Slumped, bleeding, and I could see him dying all over again. My eyes remained glued to his chest, making sure he kept breathing. 

We made eye contact. I could see the hopelessness in Roman's eyes, the early grief that would eat him from the inside out. We were both bruised and bloody but neither of us suffered life-threatening injuries. His eyes spoke to me silently, out of guilt and shame. 

I'm sorry. 

I pulled my gaze away. 

Sorry wouldn't bring back Finley.