I Choose You

Forty-Three

*three-week time gap*

Mare

I promptly jog back into our room from the wedding planner. Yes, Joslynn is very sweet and kind but can be horrifically demanding and unquestionably strict and professional. So she is in a nutshell the exact opposite of the Red's in the stilts, even though Joslynn is a Red herself, just like me. I love the fact that Maven is trying to include my morals and backgrounds in our wedding and mesh them with proper Silver royal weddings as much as possible, and I love that about him.

But right now was too much, so much to the point where I felt nauseous.

I swiftly dismissed myself and darted out of our conversation about the type of napkins we wanted and if we should mix red and white roses. I told Maven I would be in our room and to make the decisions I would. He said that was fine, but he was every ounce concerned and said he would follow after me when he was done with Joslynn.

I got to my room faster than expected, now I know the halls like the back of my palm. I grab the egress handle in a gasp and turn it violently and slam it shut, then lean against the white door. I exhale shakily, feeling the rusted taste of vomit in my mouth rise from the back of my throat. it started when Joslynn mentioned how the whole kingdom being at our wedding.

I gag slightly, some spit coming into my mouth and burning my tongue.

I stand up quickly and make a distorted dash to the bathroom. I push open the door and can barely make it to the toilet before everything comes out. The taste is gross, it burns in my mouth. It comes in bursts, and when I think I am finished pouring my guts out in the bowl below me, I only dump out more in a harsh, deep-throated cough.

The coughing fit happened 5 more times until the taste remains, but no more puke. I let myself fall to the cooled, squared tile floor on my knees. I gasp for air and reach for a towel on the bar above the toilet and wipe the bile from my lips.

"How long have you been throwing up?"

I jump back slightly and look in the doorway and see Maven standing in it. I inhale sharply for air. I exhale softer, a small cough coming out. When Maven hears my cough, he goes into the cupboard next to the sink and grabs a small glass, and fills it up with water, then hands it to me. I shakily grab onto it and drink it slowly, whish the water around in my mouth, then spit that in the toilet before flushing it.

"Is that the first time that's happened in a while?" Maven questions again, getting on his knees as well next to me, rubbing my back. Even though he hugged me this morning, I still missed and craved his warmth; due to this craving, I lean into him.

"It's happened a few times," I answer him, my voice weak and rickety.

"Are you alright?" He asks me, very concerned again.

I put the glass on the kitchen vanity, it makes a soft clink when I let go of it and bring my hand back to me.  I hug my knees and rest my chin on top of them.  Maven removes his knees from underneath him and sits on his bum; he uses his right hand to keep himself up. 

I look up in front of me, the wall, the white, crystal, shining wall.  It looks so perfect, flawless.  White, the color of innocence.  Innocence, something I don't have, or willingly gave away to Cal back when we were recruiting newbloods, then I let Maven swipe it as well.  But now that I think about it, Kilorn is the true holder of it, but no strings attached, we were just messing around.  

"Mare?" 

I jump again, getting snapped out of the illusion the wall gave me.  

"Yes?" I say to him, looking dumbfounded and shook. 

"Are you alright?" He repeats.  

"Yeah," I say, coughing slightly after I speak.  Maven looks at me suspiciously.  "Really."

"Alright," He says softly, then he wraps an arm around my waist, nudging me closer.  I defeatedly fall into his body and hide my face in his warm chest.  Maven's chest rises and falls, so soft and synchronized.  Soothing and perfect.  

"How long has the throwing up been going on?" Maven asks me, I feel the vibrations of his voice tingle through me, causing me to shiver.  

I think back, imagining a make-believe calendar in my head.  

"About 2 weeks, not all the time, just here and there when I get stressed," I explain, looking up at him.  He looks worried, concerned.  I would be if this was happening to him.  

"Have you gone to see a physician about this? I can go get her right now if you need it," Maven asks me rushedly, standing up as he speaks.  

"No no, that's fine, it's just stress, I'll get over it," I comply, knowing perfectly well that it isn't just stress, and that since it's been 2 weeks since this has started, it isn't something I can easily get over.  

I stand up as well, having to depend on the vanity countertop a little bit too much for my liking.

"You sure it's two weeks?" Maven asks me, standing in the lavetry doorway.  

I think back, I am not 100% sure if it has been two weeks since I started balking like this, all the days bleed together.  "No, I'm not, I have my wellness calendar in my desk."

I don't really bother to wait for Maven to move out of the way when I make my way through the doorway, I just barge through.  How un-queenly of me.  

I quickly walk to my desk and open the drawer above the white leathered swivil chair.  I have to fumble a bit and dig around the mess of parafanialia to find what I am looking for.  I find the silver marble calendar.  I flip open to this month and scan the dates.  I put a small green dot on the date when the vomiting started. 

Wow- that was a long time ago. 

"I started about 3 weeks ago," I say hesitantly, letting the time zap sink in my head. 

Maven and I are getting married in less than a week. 

Maven runs his fingers through his hair and doesn't look at me, his line of vision darting around insanly.  

"You need to get that checked out, Mare," He tells me, his voice flowing with deportment. 

"I know I should," Actually, I don't even think I should go, it's just stress. 

Yes, just stress. 

"Seriously Mare, we are about to get married, I don't want anything to happen to you," 

I want to sob at his words and how much he cares about me, how much he loves me.  I love him too, so much that it hurts.  

I look at my calendar again, seeing any pattern or anything.  But then, something catches my eye.  I always mark with a red dot when I have my monthly, but this month has nothing.  I flip back to the previous month, and it's marked.  I count the weeks, it's been about 7 since I had my last one.  

Then it clicks in my brain. 

Oh hell no.  

I drop my calendar on my floor run my fingers through my hair. 

"What is it?" Maven asks me. 

"I- I need to find Eve," I tell him swiftly. 

"Wait- why?" He asks me confusidly. 

"I just need to find her, where is she?" I ask him sternly. 

"Mare, why do you need-,"

"Maven, where is she?" I half yell at him, making him jolt back. 

He sighs defeatedly. "Probably in her room with Coriane." 

I don't even say goodbye I am in so much shock.  I hear Maven call to me as I leave our room, even as I slam the door behind me and in front of Maven.  

I can deal with him later, but I need to deal with this first.  

I had to find Eve, she will know how to deal with this.  

This couldn't be happening, it can't happen.

God, this can't happen.