Scars and Bruises

Hogsmeade

"You like me?!" she almost laughed ironically. "Well that's something," she looked away. Alex did not know what to say, looked like Sirius was waiting for her to say something more.

"I'm sorry," Alex almost whispered looking at her hands in her lap.

"For what?" Sirius did not understand.

"I have a crush on you since the fourth year," her lip corners twitched a little bit almost making a smirk.

"And you have to be sorry for that?" Sirius ran his hand through his hair.

"We cannot hook up, be together or whatever," her smile was sad, "that's what I have to be sorry for." She looked in his beautiful grey eyes.

"You are smart, talented and brave," she said quietly, "and also very handsome, but you are a heartbreaker through and through, and that is what I really don't like about you," he just looked at her, soaking up all her words. "I cannot afford for my heart to be broken right now. I have too many problems already. And also you are not a relationship material because you like using girls too much," sad small smile played on her lips.

"You are who you are and I don't want to change you, I'm not that selfish. I am not going to ask something from you that you are not ready for," she gently brushed her fingers against Sirius's cheek. "If something changes and you want to be in a real relationship not just sleep with me, let me now. Or if I decide that I want my heart to be broken, I'll find you," she leaned in and kissed Sirius's forehead, then she stood up and left, once again leaving Sirius watching her leave.

*

Alex could not believe that she had just told that to Sirius, even now when she was sitting on her bed everything still felt unbelievable. She felt her breath – heavy and fast. Something in this entire situation felt so suspicious. Lily came in the room looking angry as hell.

"What happened? I thought you planned to study all day in library?" Alex was curious.

"Yeah, I thought so too, but then Potter showed up and bugged me all the time," she threw her bag on the bed and sat down still pissed. "I thought that he grew up a little bit over the summer, well at least Head Boy and Girl meetings went fine, but no he just needed to show up at the library and bug me." Lily looked angry and disappointed at the same time.

Alex had her own suspicions that Lily actually fancied James, but his childishness was the reason she never said yes to his attempts to ask her out on the date.

"Guys will be guys right?" Alex muttered not knowing what to say, because she actually wanted to name all the reasons why Lily should be together with James.

"Don't even start," Lily rolled her eyes. "All day is ruined now."

Alex was amused how simply Lily's day could be ruined – just by messing with her plans. But all people are different so she did not judge too harshly.

"Maybe tomorrow we can study together?" Alex asked hopefully, "if weather is going to this nice as today, we could do it by the lake. I think that we need to use every nice day that we can get before it starts to rain all the time." Lily looked a little bit better; she even smiled a little.

"Okay," she agreed. "Hey, looks like your morning wasn't that good either," Lily said studying Alex.

"Oh, yeah..." she slowly answered. "I told Black all my thoughts about him and the fact that I fancy him," she said guilty biting her lip.

Lily shot a hand over her mouth in surprise. "NO!" she gasped.

"Well, of course I told him that there is no chance for him and me, because I'm not planning on being just one of many in his used girls little black book."