✔Touch Starved [Taekook]

23

Jungkook shuffled back to the dorm after his conversation with Jimin. He found Taehyung waiting for him. Sitting on his bed with Winston in his arms.

"I was waiting for you to come back," Taehyung said calmly.

"I'm sorry... I freaked out and needed a moment to gather my thoughts... Can we talk now?" Jungkook asked inching closer to Taehyung.

Taehyung nodded as he patted the bed. "Of course." He hummed as Jungkook took his seat. "So... What happened?"

"I was scared..." Jungkook mumbled as he picked at his nails.

Taehyung tilted his head like a confused puppy. "Scared of what?"

"Telling you how I felt..." Jungkook muttered.

The younger realized he could have phrased it better as soon as Taehyung started panicking. "How you feel? Oh god- DO YOU WANT TO BREAK UP WITH ME? AM I A SHITTY BOYFRIEND?" He yelled.

"No! NO!" Jungkook quickly assured as they both took a moment to catch their breath.

"Then what is it?"

Jungkook took another deep breath. He needed to say it, he knew he had to tell Taehyung how he felt. Yet, all the words got caught up in his throat. His mouth drying up, he wished he could just spit it out, like he did earlier when he was talking to Jimin. 

Jungkook opened and closed his mouth. Just really hoping if he moved his lips enough words would come out. Maybe Taehyung could read lips? That would make it easier... But alas, the older continued to stare at him in wide-eyed confusion.

"Sex." Jungkook finally managed to say but this by itself only made Taehyung more confused. 

"Uhm... What about it?" Taehyung asked carefully.

Jungkook let out another sigh, his thoughts spiraling off again. What about it? WHAT NOT ABOUT IT? "I'm... Scared... I just freak out... And... I'm not asexual, I don't think anyway... But I'm just, not ready." Jungkook stole Winston from the older. The unspoken rule of whoever held Winston did the talking. 

Taehyung held Jungkook's hand. "That's completely fine. I'm sorry if you felt pressured by me-"

"No, it's not that." Jungkook was quick to cut Taehyung off. "I want to. I want to really badly. But then my brain gets all... Rewired and I freak out... And I'm kinda... Upset? At myself, because I thought I was making a lot of progress."

"Jungkook..." Taehyung said softly. "We talked about this before. If you aren't ready for that kind of touch yet, that's okay. I'll wait for you." He said shooting Jungkook a smile which somehow made him feel worse.

"But you're always waiting for me... You're always helping me... And I just want to share the fact we love each other, without you having to coach me through it..." Jungkook confessed. "And I'm so... BAD at it! So then what if I don't make you feel good? So then I have to listen to you have time to yourself in the bathroom-"

"WAIT YOU CAN HEAR ME?" Taehyung's jaw dropped, mortified. Utterly mortified. 

"Sometimes... And when I hear you I kinda get upset... Because I can't satisfy that part of you. But I don't blame you for doing it by yourself. And I- I don't know, I just feel like what if I'm finally ready and then I'm still NOT READY because I don't know who is in what position or what kind of stuff you like... So I'm this inexperienced virgin and then you're this glowing sex god-"

Taehyung interrupted Jungkook with a loud laugh. "Well, thank you for thinking of me as a sex god... But I honestly don't know whatever gave you that impression. Sure I have a big dick but it's more about the motion-"

Jungkook grumbled and shot Taehyung a glare. "I don't know... You always seem so... In charge. Like you know what you want and what to do."

"Would you feel more comfortable if you were the one in charge?" Taehyung asked.

Jungkook was caught off guard by the question. He truly never thought Taehyung would have asked. He thought Taehyung preferred to be in charge and not being in charge would have been a deal-breaker. "I- I'm not sure... I haven't thought about it much... Would you be... Okay with that? I mean, if I was the one in charge?"

Taehyung nodded. "I'm okay with either way. I'm versatile." 

Jungkook hummed. "So... Do you have any weird uhh... Kinks? That you're into? Cause they showed up when I was watching porn and I'm honestly REALLY CONFUSED-"

Taehyung cut Jungkook off with another laugh. "Okay, whatever you are expecting from porn... Scratch like eighty to ninety percent of it." He chuckled. "And as for what I'm into..."

Jungkook shifted as he waited for Taehyung to continue. "Yea?" He prompted softly. 

"You."

Jungkook froze. "What do you mean?"

"I could care less about kinks or preferences. I care about spending time with you silly. I love you, not your dick or ass. But... I also do love them, because I love all of you... But you know I don't love you for ONLY your dick or ass... Okay, I'm getting horribly off-topic..." Taehyung took a moment to breathe. "My point is, I love you, and I'll wait for you. If you're comfortable and happy, I will be too." 

Jungkook smiled. "Thank you... I still need some time... Maybe to figure out stuff I like more... But, I want it to be with you when the time comes. I can't think of anyone else. No one I trust more than you. No one I love more than you."

"I love you too." Taehyung smiled his boxy smile.

Jungkook scooted closer to Taehyung so they were, half-cuddling. "Can we just... Stay like this for a bit?" He asked.

"Of course." Taehyung hummed carefully placing Winston in between them. "I appreciate you telling me... But... If you don't mind me asking... Where did you run off to?"

"Ah... Jimin..."

"Jimin? Why Jimin?" Taehyung asked.

"Because... He's asexual, I thought he could help me explain my feelings better and separate them from anxiety and no attraction." Jungkook sighed letting his eyes shut. Enjoying the silence that followed. Wondering how he was so worried about talking to Taehyung.

Nothing bad ever happened when he just talked it through. Because they were able to hear each other out. 

"Hey, Taehyung..."

"Yeah?"

"High five?" 

~

Say it with me now.

WHAT DO WE STAN?

HEALTHY COMMUNICATION!