Saved by a loving heart.

Pt18 : You.

You.

Who was there when you FUCKING KILLED YOUR MOTHER?

You.

Who was there to take the pain away?

You.

Exactly. Me. I have been here for you through everything, so why are you trusting this man? He is just trying to earn your trust you stupid kid.

Okay.

Now you are going to fucking cut, like you have never cut before. You don't deserve to feel the way you do, because then you will get comfortable just in time for him to start the hitting. All I want is for you to feel less hurt. I am your one and only friends, and I just want what is best for you.

"Um Wil, may I have a shower before we go out?" Always the best excuse to cut.

"Sure thing, I need to do something quickly anyway, so I can do that while you shower Plan?"

I nod getting up off the floor and getting one of my new jumpers and pairs of trousers, and finally get the small blade I had tucked away.

I walk into the water closet and start looking at myself in the mirror.

I slowly start unwrapping the bandages that Wil had put on a few days ago. The raw broken skin with cuts scattered on it. The bandages Wil had put on where starting to work their way into the open cuts.

Go on. Add more.

So I do. 

I start just where I normally would. My arms.

One...

Two...

Three... 

...

Thirty...

I had cut thirty new cuts on both arms. The blood starting to fall onto the white tiled floor,

You think that is good enough? After all you have done to this world, sixty tiny scratches. Don'y be a pussy. CUT DEEPER.

So I do.

One...

Two...

Three...

Four...

I carve four deep cuts into my side. It seemed to make the voice shut up, so I figured it was enough.

I start cleaning up. I thought about cleaning the wounds and bandages, but I figured if i do get an infection then so be it. I what's the worst thing that can happen? I die. Is that bad, because I would see that as a win at this point.

"Hey, Y/n. You good in there? You've been in their for a while," Wil says calling through the door.

"Um, yes. I'm just finishing up. I will be out in a second sorry."

"Okay. I will be back in 5 to make sure you are out."

Fuck.

I don't think I can get this cleaned up in that time, and  I don't want him to get mad. On the other hand I don't want him stopping me from doing this, it is one thing I have always been able to do where ever I am. From each house to the next, I have always been able to cut.

"Wait. Wil," am I going to regret doing this? "I've messed up."

"Y/n? Can you open the door? I want to be able to help."

"Please don't get mad. I had to. I'm sorry," I feel my breaths start to panic.

"I promise Y/n, I will not be mad, but you need to let me in to help."