if only ― m. grey

if only

❝if only i knew what
my heart was telling me.❞

IT all happened so fast one minute nollie is talking with lexie on the plane the next, she's crushed under the wing of the plane she was just laughing on.

magnolia could hear meredith screaming her name. half her mind was telling her to assure the eldest grey she was alive but, the other half was already begging her to let go.

meredith caught sight of her fiancé along with her sister using their bloody hands to bang the seatbelt on the side of the plane.

mark rushed to lexie side while meredith did the same with magnolia. "baby, i'm gonna die." meredith shook her head denying her soon to be wife's words.

"why would you say that? don't say that."

before magnolia could speak her mind. cristina put her hand on her person's shoulder. "she's tachycardic, and has shortness of breath. same with lexie, i don't think their gonna make it." she told her best friend solemnly.

lia struggled to raise her hand to her fiancé's face. "take my hand meredith." and she did.

denial was evident in meredith's eyes. she was sick of having everyone die on her, when she met magnolia she'd thought she would never have to witness anymore pain and suffering, she was wrong.

"i told you we should've stayed with alex. i knew it nollie, i knew."

"i know you did."

magnolia's eyes started to close, causing meredith to face the fact that this was really happening. "please, no i love you. you cant leave me. please hold on a little longer, help is coming, they're coming." the eldest grey began to beg.

magnolia opened her eyes, struggling to swallow, grabbing onto any breath of air she could take. "please mer. i'm begging you to let me go."

shaking her fiancé's arms uncontrollably sobbing for her to stay, just a little longer. meredith couldn't stand the thought of her fiancée and her sister dying on the same day, and practically the same time. "you know i can't do that. please don't talk about you dying, talk about something else's, anything else."

the dying women looked at her wife with the most loving eyes, the loving eyes meredith saw when they first met, and, this'll be the last loving eyes she'll see from her lover.  "you know grey, i would spend so many eons loving you."

"yeah, i know, and, we can spend so many more when we both make it out of here alive." she cried while grasping her hand trying to reassure her lover.

"except, we both know that only one of us can make it out alive." magnolia knew her wife was trying to make things positive, but she needed her to see that this.. this wouldn't end up positive. for no one.

❝don't know what i'm feeling.
is this just a dream?❞