"God, that makes it so much better," Dario enthuses with a satisfied groan.

"Alright, get the fuck away from each other..." Ken roughly shoves Dario in front of me. He lands on his back and, when he sits up again, his skin is coated in sand and I absolutely have to write on it. So I make a heart and carve our initials: C. D.

"Oooh, like CD," Preston realizes for the first time.

"Computer disk?" Jackson screws up his face.

"It's compact disk, you fuckin'..." Dario catches my look and looks away, muttering under his breath, "moron."

Feeling bold, I continue with the dirty talk to my husband. He listens with a quirked brow and rapidly darkening eyes.

"Talking like this to me with our friends around? Brave."

"I need something dirty for my dirty mouth... This will do." I brazenly cup his bulge.

The men end up running back into the water, Dario chasing them, while I sit back and laugh, stuffing my face with all their fries.

"OMG... I have never seen a better body in all my life."

A group of girls are whispering about my husband and checking him out in the most obvious way.

Ugh. I can't take him anywhere...

Sighing, I try to focus my attention back on the food. I also packed sunflower seeds and they're delicious.

I wish the strangers would stop, but they keep squealing and giggling under their breaths all annoyingly. I just sit on my blanket, playing with two seeds and pretending not to hear.

"Does he wear a cast-iron cup?! Can't believe he didn't get an erection when he walked by you, Stace..."

As though summoned, my trophy husband starts walking back in our general direction.

"Oh, hey." One of the women practically jumps in his path. "I'm Stacy." She's extremely beautiful, I must admit. Barbie-beautiful.

Shrinking into myself, I suddenly wish I weren't wearing my cotton duck cap with the orange visor. I look like a little gay joke.

"Hi." Dario keeps walking to the water cooler. He rummages around for something non-alcoholic.

"I see the way you're watching him."

I jump at the sound of a voice directly behind me. Turning around, I'm surprised to find myself directly addressed by Barbie herself. "Are those sunflower seeds? Those're high in fat, you know. I usually avoid nuts and oils."

My eyes narrow to slits.

"How awful for you. I stay slim no matter what I eat." I place another seed in my mouth.

She sighs dreamily, too wrapped up in ogling my husband to hear me. "God, I want him..."

"He's married..."

"Yeah, but is he, like," her voice drops to a whisper, "happily married?"

For a second, I can only blink speechlessly. Then my face starts to feel hot.

I hate her so much right now. I'm so angry I can't even speak. So I just turn away and ignore her.

Fuckwad.

Dario is now walking back to the shore but I run after him and tackle him from behind. We go down in a spray of sand, Dario grunting. I dig my fingers into one of his ass cheeks and say, quietly but with feeling, "I own you."

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