Always [N.H]

I love you

Arden woke up showering Niall with kisses, Niall giggled slightly, not used to this kind of affection from her.

"What's going on babe?" He said with a yawn and Arden kissed him again.

"Get up baby, I made breakfast and I've got a whole day planned for us." Niall looked at her, she was beautiful, wearing a satin summer dress, hair up and make-up down for the first time in a long time. She was beautiful everyday but today was different.

"Niall hurry up!" She called when he still hadn't gotten up after several minutes. 

The day was amazing, the best day Niall had had in a while and it just went to show how things weren't always like this, that Arden naturally was a happy person, it was just unfortunate the circumstances she found herself in. She had taken him to the very first bar Niall performed in in London before taking him on a roundtrip to every place he performed at before stopping at the arena he had recently played in. He was touched, tears in his eyes at the emotion and thought that had gone in to today's event and the fact that she did all this despite still being in recovery. Her selflessness was part of the many reasons why he loved her. 

"I love you." She said while they had dinner at the first restaurant they had gone to together.

"I love you." She repeated as they drove home, Niall's hand on her thigh, gripping it slightly as he smiled at her. God, he adored her. 

"I love you." She whispered as they stumbled into their apartment, lips locked as their hands roamed over their bodies.

"I love you." She said again as they fell onto their bed, clothes ending up on the floor next to them. Feelings were high, the room hot with passion, bodies move in sync, nothing but serenity between them.

"One last time, for the very last time. We'll forget that it's over tonight." Arden whispered as she left a trail of kisses down Niall's chest.

"What?" Niall asked, breathless as his stomach twisted in loving knots and the intimacy between the two increased. Arden said nothing, coming back up to face Niall.

"I love you." She spoke sincerely, kissing him intently.

"I love you more." Niall responded and they gave themselves to each other for one last time, not that Niall knew at the time.

°°°

The loneliness was loud, so loud it practically startled Niall awake, as if he knew he was alone and she was gone. Her side of the bed was vacant, sheets cold and unoccupied except for one single letter.

My dearest Niall,

You're destined for great things, always have been, from the day we first met I could see the great star you were going to become. I can't be in your life for this happen, I'm nothing but a hinderance, a stumbling block on your road to success. Now it's just postponing your tour, then you'll cancel it and eventually you might just put your entire career at rest to take care of me. I'm not getting better Niall, the disease will always be with me, it'll always control me no matter how much I try to fight it. I can't let it control you too. Letting you go is the best way to show that I love you, I'll be ok, I'll get help and you can finally focus on your career. Who knows, perhaps we'll cross paths again but for now it's time to say goodbye. Go out there, be great and remember, 

I love you, always

Arden

"Arden!" Niall called out desperately, racing up the old, barely kept together, staircase. He knew this was where she would go, it was the only place she had to go. Their old apartment had sat uninhabited for years. The first thing Niall had done with his first large paycheck was buy a larger, more luxurious apartment in central London, however, he nor Arden had the heart to let go of their old one. It held too many memories, too many first times to just abandon like that so Niall bought it and gave the keys to Arden for safe-keeping. Neither had actually planned on ever using it, it was more for a sentimental value and a potential inheritance for future children. 

Well, as Niall ran up the stairs, reaching the desired floor, pounding desperately on the apartment door, he realized just how suddenly his world came crashing down. Arden was his everything, his past, his future and his present, she was there for everything and she supported him through everything. Even when he was broke and was quite literally playing and living on the streets in pursuit of a reckless dream, she was there and she supported him. Niall couldn't understand, he couldn't understand why Arden would think she was a burden now, after all these years. His heart ached, eyes blurry with tears, fists hurting from his incessant pounding. He loved her, he loved her so fucking much, why couldn't she see that? Why couldn't she see that was enough. 

"Niall?" Her voice was soft, barely a whisper, but Niall heard it nonetheless and leaned in desperately.

"Arden, baby, let me in, let's talk about this, we have to talk about this. You're not thinking straight. "

"No, Niall, I am, things can't go on like this. You can't keep sacrificing everything for me, depriving yourself of happiness." Arden choked out from the other side of the door, knees pulled to her chest, head leaning against the door.

"I don't want you to go, I don't want to let you go but that's selfish, I'll be ok. I'll be broken when you're gone, but someday we'll both be moving on." 

"Never!" Niall yelled, slamming his hand angrily against the door causing Arden to jump, tears becoming more intense. 

"I'll find my way Niall, just say you won't forget me." Arden begged through her tears and Niall shook his head, shoulder racking up and down with his sobs. 

"Open the door, open the door, open the door, open the door!" He repeated the phrase over and over again, each repetition becoming louder, more demanding, more desperate, until eventually it was reduced to smaller cries, pleas, his voice hoarse. 

"Promise me Niall, promise you won't forget me." Arden whispered, perhaps it was selfish to ask this of him but she figured she could ask this one selfish thing, it hurt too much otherwise, to know that she'll be nothing more than a fleeting moment in his life. 

"I won't forget you because you're coming home with me. This is just an episode, it has to be. I'll be here every damn day, every bloody minute until you open this fucking door. Arden, I won't leave you, you can't leave me, you are my happiness, the reason I do what I do. Don't punish me like this, baby please let me in." There was silence and Niall felt his heart beat out of control, it was too much, he couldn't take it anymore, he felt like ripping the organ out of him, it hurt, it hurt too much. 

"I'll be right here, not far away. " Arden whispered finally and Niall knew it was over, she wasn't going to budge. And although Niall knew he would continue to fight, he would continue to knock on that door until she opened it, letting him again, he still found himself sighing in defeat. Hands placed on the door as he cried, he was exhausted, both physically and emotionally and it felt like his brain was malfunctioning, having to remind himself to breathe. 

'She'll be back, it's just an episode, a bout, it'll be over soon and she'll be back.' He thought to himself, calming the tremors in his hands, the noises of chaos, pain and heartbreak in his head. 

On their respective sides, they placed their hands directly opposite each other, the only thing separating them being the door. Arden sobbed, in pain, while Niall cried and continued begging her not to do this, to open the door for him. Hours passed, neither had moved, exhausted they both leaned their head against the door, eyes closed as they whispered simultaneously. 

"I'll love you, always."

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