Everything I Never Told You ( Conan Gray )

XVI. I Owe It To You

He didn't regret spending the day with Conan the day before but he felt like he was really lagging behind. He had taken three days off and then not studied for the entire day.

His hand closed over the door and he jerked it open.

"Hey Heath," his uncle called out.

Heathcliff exhaled and reluctantly turned around, plastering a fake smile over his face.

"Yeah?" His uncle had turned around in his chair and was facing him with a difficult and bemused expression spread over his face. His eyebrows squeezed together as if he was finding it difficult to say something.

"I got a call from your mom about your, erm," he said and loosened his collar. The day was really hot and humid like the one before. "Recent transactions. In your account?"

"Oh yeah," Heathcliff said, relieved that he wasn't gonna start bugging him with something else. "I transferred the ten thousand to my savings account. I might get an internship in May so I was just keeping it for that, you know?"

"Erm, it's not about that," he said and Heathcliff stared at him confused.

"I don't know how to put this. I have told you a million times," Uncle Griffin said and Heathcliff closed the door, speculating he won't be going anywhere for a while. "To get your fucking shit together and forget him."

Heathcliff's bag slid off his shoulder and landed with a thump on the floor. A pause.

"You have been paying a dead person's phone bills," he says not looking at him but at the floor. "Do you realize how bad this is for you?"

"Not everyone is selfish like you," Heathcliff spat. His anger getting the better of him.

"I sold all of your possessions yesterday," he said as if he did a very noble thing. "Everything related to Julian Hertz you owned is now gone. The Pride and Prejudice series, the gifts, photos, frames everything."

"How many cheap bucks did you scrape from my pain?" Heathcliff laughed. It's was an echo of his mesmerising chuckles, except darker and more painful. "I am just an insurance for you, huh? We can split the rent, the expenditure, bills..."

"What are you talking about? I did that because I care for you! I am your Uncle for god's sake," he said it with such force and emphasis that Heathcliff almost apologised.

He could feel every muscle in his body growing tense and every cell contracting. You are so selfish, he thought.

"So where were you Uncle Griffin, when mom was running three jobs in Texas. When dad left me and mom? Where were you when my high school friends bullied me? Where were you when mom begged at your feet for money? When did you decide that, suddenly you wanted to be involved in my life and 'look' out for me?"

His Uncle did not respond. He walked to the granite slab in the kitchen and grabbed his bag. He always fell silent when Heathcliff asked him such difficult questions. He could never admit he was selfish. He saw an opportunity of spending less money over apartment, bills et cetera and he took it. He called it, 'looking out for his nephew'.

Heathcliff usually stayed silent too when he wouldn't respond but today he wasn't going to let it go. And pretend it never happened. He would find out the answer and make him admit that he was selfish.

"You are too scared to admit that you are selfish. So, stop this shit. Stop pretending like you ever cared and pretend I am just your roommate." Heathcliff said, venom spilled from his mouth.

"You shouldn't really be getting into an adult's matter," his Uncle merely said. "All you need to know is that I owe you this. Maybe I am selfish but that doesn't mean I don't care for you."

"As far as I remember," he said, sliding to the ground and blocking the door. "Mom never told me about you owing me anything."

He thought of Julian. How he would haul him right up at this moment and make him his favourite coffee. He would skip work that day and spend the evening watching Pride and Prejudice. At night they would drive around the beach for a while. Heathcliff would laugh as Julian would run away from the waves like a scared child. They would come back to their apartment and everything would be perfect.

"Your mom didn't tell you a lot of things, Heathcliff," he says. "It's not the first time, wouldn't be the last time."

"Oh, I think I know enough," he said, covering his hands with face and remembering the bittersweet memories. "You. Are. An. Extremely. Narcissistic. Man. Who. Lies."

"I am trying to protect you!" he shouted, his face turning red.

"STOP IT THEN!"

"I should have never promised your mom anything, argh!"

"No worries, I am already leaving. Limca will be happy to let me move until she comes back and at least she doesn't pretend!"

"Your mom will kill me if you move! You are not going anywhere!" Uncle Griffin said authoritatively.

"I will explain to my mother, then! You don't want me here anyways!"

"She won't let you move, Slugger!"

"I don't give a fuck."

"When have you ever given a fuck?" he said and Heathcliff knew it was getting real. "You are so careless and naïve and-"

"At least I don't try to take advantage of people!"

"I have never taken advantage of you! I have been paying your rent, not your mother! I have been paying for your groceries!"

"What?" he asked, confused and processing everything. It didn't fit. Why would Griffin pay for him? Why would he do anything for him? He didn't give a shit, never did. So, why?

"You want the truth then? Why do I take care of someone like -like you?" he said. "Take it then. The day before Julian went home. You texted me that he was going and you needed me to sign some of his permission slips. I accidently told your dad where his home was since it was in the slip. He drove overnight to Nebraska and killed him within two days. He hated that you like-liked boys. I made a mistake," he said, his figure towering over him, like a dark shadow. "Just let me correct it."

His dad had killed Julian.