The Choice | Bucky Barnes or Steve Rogers

Promise

Hi everybody, how are you? This time I will not dwell, good reading :)

It's strange how love can overwhelm your life. One moment before you think that no one will ever be right for you, sometimes you believe you are unable to love or can be loved, the moment after you find the right person, who falls in love with your strengths and weaknesses. Sometimes we don't even realize how important, dependent we are for that person. I'm addicted to Bucky, I don't deny it. Perhaps, however, too much addiction can backfire because if he, one day, were to get tired of me and leave me, I wouldn't know how to go on. I think all of this also comes from not having the security of being able to love someone other than him. Of not being able to feel understood as I am with him. We are both accomplices. Two matching parts of the same medallion.

We are in our favorite place right now. A hill full of poppies, flanked by a stream that always enchants me with its rustle. It is almost evening, the sky is tinged with the usual colors present when there is a spectacular sunset, red and orange, with some shades of yellow. A breathtaking view to say the least.

"Y/n"  I hear someone calling behind me. I try to capture the image in front of me in my head, then take a deep breath and turn to Bucky. I find him kneeling, with a blue box in his hands. My eyes widen in surprise. Is this really happening?

"You don't need to say anything. I know we've only known each other for eight months, five of which I've been in the war. I know it's a relatively short amount of time to plan an entire life together. But you know what? I don't care. It is not the time that matters, but how you lived it. And with you y/n, I finally feel myself, I feel loved. So I ask you, with my heart exploding with emotion. Y/n Y/l/n, will you marry me?" at his words I began to cry, I never thought of getting married. I have always lived with a single goal in mind: freedom. Freedom as a woman, not having to be second to none, let alone a man, being able to have my independence, being able to work without asking my family for money.

I have always had values, which I will follow, but which at that moment seemed to no longer exist. Seeing the man I love, intent on wanting to spend his life with me, made me realize that perhaps this was what my life was missing. I felt a void that Bucky was able to fill. And I would never let it go, for any reason in the world.

"Yes, Bucky of course I'll marry you" at those words his smile grew out of all proportion. He got up, put the ring on me and took me in his arms, making me turn.

"When will we get married?" by now I was impatient to become completely his "as soon as I return from the next mission" I took his face with my hands and made his eyes fit with mine "promise me you'll come back to me safe and sound" I knew those missions were dangerous " I promise" he said and then kissed me on the nose. It was the last time I saw him. The next day he left for the mission.

-

Bucky's pov

The mission is simple: we jump on the armored train, take Zola and go home. I can't make mistakes, y/n awaits me. I will finally marry her. She will be completely and inexorably mine. It's a matter of days now.

"Come on" Steve told me without looking me in the eyes. I don't understand why he didn't take well that she will marry y/n. I have noticed certain attitudes of him, I think he doesn't like her very much, even if from her letters I thought they were united.

I followed him down by a rope. We had little chance of doing it, given the fast speed of the train, but we did and now we were on the roof of the train. We went inside and were divided into two cabins. I didn't have time to understand what had happened, as I was immediately the target of two men. They started shooting at me and I did the same.

Steve joined me, helping me kill them. It seemed to be over, but someone came behind us, armed with advanced weapons. Steve's shield protected us, but the blow opened part of the train.

I took Steve's shield while he was on the ground and tried to shoot, but that being hit me, sending me flying off the train.

-

Steve's pov

I didn't see Bucky on the train and I prayed to God he was still alive. I took my shield and threw it at the man in front of me. "Bucky" I yelled seeing my friend hovering between life and death. He was clinging to an iron plate. I tried to get close "hold on" I said and then reaching out "take my hand" I replied. He was about to do it, he was succeeding, but the iron plank he was holding on broke and I saw him fall. I saw my best friend die in front of my eyes and I hated myself for not being able to save him.

-

Y/n's pov

"So he only asked you to marry after eight months?" Peggy asked me amazed "yes, you don't need to ask me four times" I rolled my eyes and then brought my attention back to my dress "what do you think?" I took a turn on myself to show her the dress I had chosen "you are perfect".

-

I saw Steve walk through the doors of my house and Bucky's, he was alone. His face was red, his eyes were surrounded by dark circles and wet, very wet "where is Bucky?" I asked expecting a positive answer "y/n" he didn't look me in the eye, he kept his gaze down and his voice came out hoarse.

"God Steve, talk to me, you're making me worry" I sat in the chair, while my heart was preparing for the worst "Bucky didn't make it" walked over to me. He tried to put his hand on my face but I moved it "I don't understand" I replied looking at the void. I felt devoid of everything. A body without his soul. It's as if my heart has been ripped out and trampled on, torn to shreds. I couldn't even cry. I felt nothing, only the most inexorable emptiness. I would like to forget. I wish someone would take this tearing pain away from me. I would feel better if I was stabbed, rather than knowing that the person I love will never come back to me. That I will never see him again. Our kisses, our caresses, our promises, all vanished, all gone up in smoke.

"We've both lost the most important person in our lives, but we can't cancel each other out for it, Bucky wouldn't want it" Steve told me, but I still haven't been paying attention. What was the meaning of my life now? None. Would I be happy again? I do not think so. Would I have loved again? Never.

Steve put his hand under my chin, making sure I could look him in the eyes "I'll take care of you, we'll be fine, I promise" I don't believe the promises anymore Steve, it's just words that make us hope everything will be fine, but it's not so. Bucky promised to come back, but he didn't. Thanks anyway, for taking care of me.

I hope you liked this chapter. Let me know if you want me to continue :)