Why Did I Fall In Love!? (Boy x Boy Ship)

Chapter One: It's Torture Having To Pretend

"Gou! Wake up!" says a voice.

Gou slowly opens his eyes and is shocked. Ash is on top of him with a big beaming smile.

"Gou! Hurry up! We're gonna be late!" Ash demands.

Gou quickly looks away to hide the embarrassment on his face "R-Right..."

Ash laughs and jumps off Gou's bed. "I'll meet you downstairs for breakfast! Don't keep me waiting! It's too exciting to wait!"

And just like that, Ash is already speeding his way downstairs.

Gou is still lying on his bed. Ash's face was so close to his. It made Gou's heart start to race. It made him blush. It's absolute torture having to pretend he doesn't have feelings for Ash. It's awful. It's painful.

Gou takes a few deep breaths and forces himself to get up. He makes his way downstairs to the kitchen. Ash, Pikachu and Raboot are already stuffing their faces with the food Mr Mime made. He watches as Ash shovels all the food into his mouth with sheer excitement and impatience. Ash is always so easily excited. It's actually kind of cute. Gou shakes his head vigorously. Those kinds of thoughts are not welcome.

"Gou!" Ash shouts looking a bit confused. "Are you alright?"

"Y-Yeah! Yeah! I'm fine!" Gou jolts.

"It's just...you've been standing there for a few minutes staring into space and you keep shaking your head." Ash responds.

"I-I'm fine!" Gou repeats, taking a seat at the table. Mr Mime places a plate of food in front of him. "Thank you, Mr Mime."

"Mr Miiiime!" Mr Mime responds with a happy smile.

Gou stares at the food on his plate. He can't eat it. Not because the food is inedible. It looks really delicious. It's just...the feelings he's experiencing are making him ill. These feelings have been torturing him for a few weeks now. They've completely destroyed his appetite.

"DONE!" Ash declares wiping his mouth. "I'm going to go for a shower!" He says jumping out of the chair and bolts out of the kitchen.

Gou watches as Ash runs upstairs. He hates himself. He hates these feelings. He hates Ash...Who's he kidding!? Of course he doesn't hate Ash. He...well, loves Ash. He thinks. He definitely cares about Ash but, he doesn't want to love Ash that way. He doesn't want to love Ash when he knows he can't have him. But...does he even want Ash? These conflicting feelings are completely messing with his head. They've destroyed his appetite, they've destroyed his motivation. He can't concentrate. He feels like he's falling down a dark hole and he can't stop.

Tears start running down his cheeks.

"Mime?" Mr Mime says with concern. Raboot looks at him in confusion.

Gou takes no notice. The tears are blurring his vision. He completely breaks down. How is he meant to cope with all this? How is he supposed to pretend that these feelings don't exist? How does he get rid of those feelings? How is he supposed to face Ash all day, everyday?

What does he do?

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*Sound of the shower*

Gou stands under the shower, the water pelting down on his head like torrential rain. He desperately needs to figure out what to do. He gets all red and embarrassed when he's near Ash. He doesn't get it though. He doesn't understand how this all happened. One day he was just a friend. He was just Ash. But now all of a sudden he's Ash! This great guy that he can't have. But he doesn't want Ash... Does he?

"Grrrr! No no no! Stop it stop it stop it! Get out of my head!" Gou exclaims.

*knock knock knock*

"Gou? Are you alright?" Ash asks through the bathroom door.

"U... Y-yes! I'm fine!" Gou stutters turning red.

"Well hurry up. We're gonna be late!" Ash says impatiently.

"O-OK! Gou stutters again. He needs to overcome these feelings. He has to bury them deep down until he forgets and he has to do it fast. Otherwise, things are going to get worse.