Love Chromosomes

XXIII. The Rain Have To Stop

"Mark." He called out my name again to my heart's delight. He calls me more softly compared to that night he first call my name. I know this doesn't mean anything, but still it makes me happy. I will have to enjoy this because this will be short lived for sure. Probably it would be the last time hearing it from him tonight.

"I'm glad you were able to listen to me P. It's ok if you don't believe me. Just by listening is ok." I told him.

"..."

"I promise to stay out of your life after tonight P. I will not bother you anymore. If my face bothers you that much then I will avoid you at all cost. I will only focus on my mother now." Yes. I will sacrifice my own feelings just for this little act of mine to continue.

"Mark, you..." He still looked unsure of what he's going to say.

"I promise that if all of this is over, I will immediately disappear from here. I would change this face if I have to. Just to make sure you will bot be bothered by this ever again." I know that P Vee will be hurting everytime he sees this face of mine. I know it would be painful seeing your dead lover's face in someone else that is like me. I'm far from likable compared to my niisama. I am scarred all over the place. Ugly scars dirtied my body and my heart. Masa was too pure and almost perfect. That's why he was loved by everyone. That's why P Vee likes him and not me.

"Change your face? What do you mean by that?" He was frowning at me when he asked. I scoffed out a laugh that got caught in my throat.

"Well I am planning on getting a plastic surgery when I get back to Japan P. I am consulting on some of the seniors there who specialized in that line." I told Kana about this already. His reaction was so funny that I almost choked from laughing.

"Are you serious?" I looked at the man beside me whose reaction wasn't any different from Kana's. But I don't feel like laughing right now. I'm dead serious about this matter.

"Yeah P."

"Why?"

"I don't think I need to answer that now P. I'm sorry."  He doesn't need to know that the more I look at my self in the mirror, the more that I lose my identity in the process.

"Mark." P Vee called me once again. I love my name though. This I will keep instead. For me it's more unique than this face I have. I know there are thousands of people out there named Mark. But still I find my identity in this very commonly used name.

"So I guess this is it P. I have said to you everything  that I wanted. Do you still have anything to say to me P? I would accept anything even if you start cursing at me." I glance back again at the handsome face of the first man that I ever love. If only fate was a little friendlier with us back then, we could have have ended more differently than this. Maybe if I listened to my mother back then and entered back our house after niisama, me and P Vee could have avoided getting kidnapped. My mom and my dad could have avoided fighting over me to the extent of getting a divorce. Then maybe P Vee and and his family could live longer beside our house making me and P Vee closer to each other. Will he be liking me more than Masa niisama?

"Mark. I... I'm sorry about that incident. I was too.."

"No P! Forget about it. I don't want to talk about it. As long as I'm fine now everything is ok. Yeah. Forget about that. Forget." I don't think what I answered him made any sense. I don't want to get reminded of that incident because it was too degrading and painful. We will soon part and I don't want to associate the person that I love with that horrid act. I'll keep the good memories of him instead.

P Vee bowed down his head and stared down to his hands. I can see that his facial muscles were tense and his lips trembled slightly. What is he thinking right now?