12 - alone

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Sirius' POV

When I make it back to Gryffindor tower, I ignore the calls from my friends to join them on the couches in the common room and instead run up the staircase to my dorm, slamming the door behind me. I pick up the closest thing to me, a lamp on my nightstand and throw it against the wall. "Fuck!" I yell as the glass base shatters to pieces. 

I hate myself for everything I just said to her. I hate her for joining their side even if it was against her will. I just fucking hate that we're separated by this war. But I still love her more than life itself. 

"Sirius? What's going on?" James says from behind me. Turning around I see that he's joined by Remus. Peter and Lily must have stayed in the common room. "She joined them." I manage to say. "She's a Death Eater. She's become the very thing she hates. And when she told me that she has the mark and is set to marry my brother, I was so pissed and confused that I said things I shouldn't have...I told her I don't love her anymore." 

"But you do." James says. "Love her, I mean." 

"Of course I do. How could I not?"

"Well if you love her you need to apologize and tell her that. You need to be there for her. If she doesn't want this, maybe you can find a way to get her out of it." James suggests.

I shake my head. "No. She told me it won't work. They could probably track her or something. They would kill her."

"I hate to say it, Sirius, but being in the position of a Death Eater, she could very well be killed at any point. She could die for a cause that she holds no belief in. So why not take that risk and make a run for it. You're smarter than people give you credit for. You could easily figure something out." Remus says. 

"We were planning on fighting back against Voldemort once we graduated anyways. This will give you even more motivation to fight." James urges.

They're right. Why should I go along with what Voldemort decides? That would be like bending a knee to him, something I never intend to do. "Okay. I'll go find her."

"Not now." Remus says, pushing me away from the door when I make a move towards it. "It's past curfew and you land yourself another detention."

"I don't care about that." I protest, trying to push past him, but James comes to his aid, holding me back as well. 

"And what will you say to the large group of Slytherin Death Eater recruits when you get to the dungeons. That you're there to rescue the daughter of infamous and loyal Death Eaters so you can run away from each other and defy Voldemort himself."

I slump back onto my bed. "You're right." I concede. The last thing I want is to risk y/n's life. "I'll talk to her first thing tomorrow morning."

*****

Y/N's POV

I should have known this would happen. He hates Death Eaters. He wants to fight against them and now I am one. Of course he would hate me. I lay back onto my bed, exhausted from my the whirlwind of emotions I've felt today. All I want to do is drift of to sleep and hope that this was all some kind of nightmare. But before I can, the door to my dorm swings open, slamming against the wall. 

The noise causes me sit upright. "You fucking bitch." Leila seethes sliding towards me and before I can even register what's happening, a sharp sting runs through my face as he palm makes contact with my cheek. 

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I demand, standing up to face her, now fully awake. 

"What the fuck is wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong with you! I was finally happy and caring about someone, making plans for my future as a Death Eater. I had him right where I wanted him, and then you come along and fucking steal him from me. Little miss perfect, daughter of death eaters, set to become a faithful servant to the Dark Lord. Did you not even care that you took what I wanted? I was supposed to marry Regulus and we would be unstoppable. The Dark Lord's best and most faithful servants."

Maybe I'm loopy from all the dramatics of today, but I let out a laugh. "Do you even hear yourself Leila. I didn't plan this. It was an arranged marriage. Do you know what that means or are you so incompetent that I have to explain it to you." I say through clenched teeth. 

"Don't you dare call me incompetent. I'm amazing at the unforgivable curses. You on the other hand are mediocre with most spells. Let's see how you fare trying to deflect the cruciatus curse." She smirks, pulling her wand out from her robe. 

"I'm not going to fight you." I tell her. I may have the mark of a Death Eater now but I refuse to use their ways. Especially for something as pathetic as this. 

"I figured you'd say that. I guess I'll just enjoy watching you squirm in pain then." She says devilishly, raising her wand. She sounds crazy. No, scratch that. She's certifiably insane and I can't believe I've been friends with her all these years. I mean, all this over some guy she's been hung up on for a few weeks. 

"Leila stop!" A deep voice calls from the doorway. Leila pockets her wand at the his command and when I turn to see who it is my heart jumps into my throat. Sirius. But once I blink I realize it's not him. It's Regulus instead. 

He rushes over to me, completely ignoring Leila. "Are you okay?" He asks, his eyebrow creasing with worry just like Sirius' does. How am I expected to do this? It's one thing to be placed in an arranged marriage with someone while in love with another? But to for it to be the brother of the man I love. They don't look a lot a like but they have some of the same mannerisms and I know it will be painful to wake up next to him every morning, knowing that he's not Sirius. He's the complete opposite. Callous, cruel, sadistic. Or at least that's what I'm guessing based on the fact that he's willingly joining the Death Eaters.

"I'm fine. I'll just pack my things and sleep in the common room tonight. I'll figure something else out by tomorrow." I say, most of my words directed at Leila, though she doesn't meet my eyes. Day 1 of being a Death Eater and I've already lost a relationship and a friendship. How much more damage will I indirectly cause?

*****

Sirius' POV

A group of Slytherin seventh years are chatting outside the Great Hall as I'm on my way to breakfast. I realize one is y/n's 'best friend' and slow my pace to catch what they're saying. 

"Of course I'm still going to join. I'm not going to let a bitch like her stop me from helping to eradicate the filthy mudbloods that walk the halls of this school." Leila says with a sneer.

"What about Regulus? Are you going to try to steal him away from her?" A girl asks and by the smirk playing on her lips, I'm guessing she hopes that Leila will so she can get her fill of drama. 

Leila shrugs. "There's no point. He already left Hogwarts this morning with y/n. I'm sure it's only a matter of minutes before they take the unbreakable vow and devote themselves to each other. Stealing him from her would only end up killing him. Though based on the way he protected her last night when I tried to use the cruciatus curse on her, he probably wouldn't betray her like that. Pathetic really. I mean, why would he want her when he can have me."

Those words propel me into the Great Hall as I fend off more tears, not wanting to hear the rest of their conversation. She's gone. She left this morning and she's not coming back. I have no idea where she is. It's over. Only one thing stops me from losing my shit. Regulus is a good guy deep down. Although his morals require bloodlines are a little skewed, his heart is in the right place most of the time. He'll protect her, I know he will. 

But I will get her back. That much I know for sure. No matter how long it takes.

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