Beyond the Walls

Chapter 37

"But what about the vaccine?" I ask, crossing my arms. "Haven't we completed the rollout for the Convex side of the river?"

"Yes," Ajax says, rubbing his eyes. "But we have detected a new strain amongst the cases. The one that affects the neurological pathways, breaking them down and eventually fuelling mania."

"The beasts," I say, my knees buckling as the room sways before me.

"I think we need to lock down the city, Elle," Ajax says. "We need to increase our water cleaning staff and increase the message that people must boil their water."

"How will we know who's infected?"

"We will set up testing centres throughout the city and quarantine the sick in our facilities."

"This begs the question, Ajax. You mentioned Hatchman. He's involved in this?" I ask. My heart thrums against my ribs.

Ajax sighs and "I believe so. Perhaps, he somehow sent the new strain with the Mercurees."

"Or, perhaps, he sent it back with me," I say, sliding against the desk, lowering to the floor. "Edward Mallory will also be behind this."

"What can we do?" Ruben asks, brushing his hair back. "I want to help."

"Perhaps, you can both go to the Convex Sector after the lockdown announcements, tonight. Be there with the people, talk with them and comfort them. They will look to you, Elle, as they always do."

"We can spend a few nights in my apartment," I say, resting my hands on my knees, tapping my fingers rhythmically.

"I will prepare my transcript for the lockdown announcement," Ajax says with a wave of his hand, dismissing us from his room. "You should head to the Convex Sector in the morning."

Ruben and I pad out of the door and back down the hallway. Silence weighs on us heavily as we make our way back to Ruben's bedroom. Not before we bump into Noah as we pass the ballroom. I roll my eyes, raising my chin and preparing to ignore him. But his arm shoots out, and he snatches my wrist.

"Elle, can I talk to you?" he asks, eyes flicking sheepishly at Ruben.

"She doesn't want to speak to you, Noah," Ruben says, ripping his hand from my skin. "Leave her alone."

"What do you want," I hiss, glaring at him as I push my shoulders back.

Noah drops his gaze and his jaw clenches. "My comment about your sister was shit. I'm sorry."

I allow a beat and swallow. "If only that sorry could bring her back from the dead."

Then I march away, blinking away the hot tears, through the corridors and into Ruben's room, who trails behind me. I step into the bathroom, peeling my sweaty clothes from my overheating skin. I turn the shower on, reaching my hand into the cascading water before retracting back in instinct. The water roars with laughter down the drain and I slump my shoulders. Gentle fingers brush against my waist and I turn my head to Ruben. He smiles at me.

"Surely not Elle afraid of water," he says, chuckling.

"More so afraid of losing my mind to the virus. Literally." I step into the stream, relishing the hot water on my tender muscles.

Ruben pulls his clothes off, and my eyes rake his body. He steps into the shower with me and the water washes over his face. Dirt spills into the drain as we clean ourselves. Back in the bedroom, Ruben wraps a towel around his waist and sits on the edge of the bed. His jade eyes follow me, bright and ever-present, as I traipse the room, gathering my clothes.

"I think I understand Edward," he says, and I pause in the middle of scooping a pair of sweatpants from the floor.

"What do you mean?" I ask as I straighten, stepping into the pants. My wet curls drape down my naked chest, and I feel his gaze hot on my body.

"I guess I understand why he wants to find a cure for the drown," he says, flicking his eyes up to my own at last.

"We all understand, Ruben," I say, crossing my arms and padding towards him. "But there is no cure. His actions are an abomination to humanity. You've seen the beasts in his compound and the horrendous things he has done to his subjects."

"I think he has a point though," he says. "Vaccines can only help ease the severity of illness. They can't stop other variants like this new one that turns people into crazies."

I snatch the shirt from the mattress and shrug it on, gathering my words carefully. "Are you saying that we should take similar measures to Edward?"

"No, Elle." He runs a hand through his hair. "I just think that maybe we need to find another option. A cure seems like a more permanent solution than being afraid of the next outbreak and scrambling to control it."

"We don't even have outbreaks, Ruben. Remember? Your father ensured the death or banishment of any case."

Anger bursts into his eyes aflame and his lips purse. "Don't bring him into this," he spits, throwing me a bitter glare. "All I'm saying is it would be easier if we had a cure. Maybe a few beasts would give themselves up to Edward's cause?"

I flinch, and my hands ball into fists. "Careful, you sound like your father."

Hurt flashes in his eyes, and he retracts back. "A low blow, Elle."

"Okay, fine, you sound like Hatchman and Edward and any other power-crazed asshole who has made our lives hell and killed the people we love."

"I don't want to argue with you," he counters back, standing suddenly and stepping into a pair of underwear. "And I'd appreciate if you stop comparing me to people I hate. Especially my father. I am not my father."

"No, you're not Sneya," I say, allowing a moment for the venom to drip from my tongue. "But sometimes the resemblance is uncanny."

Then I yank the covers back and throw myself into the bed, squeezing my eyes shut.

Silence echoes in the wake of my words. He pads around the bed and crawls in, turning away from me.

The words burn into my heart and my stomach twists. I reach my hand out to his shoulder, and he jerks away.

"How could you say such a thing, Elle?" he murmurs, voice catching.

"I... I'm sorry."

"No use. I know I can never shake him. Not when his blood still runs in my veins."

"You aren't him, my love," I whisper, wishing I could scoop the words back up.

"I want to be a good man. I hated him, Elle. I hated that man for everything he did to this city, to me, to my mother, to you. He was an evil person and I had to kill him. How could you say I'm like that?" He rolls over, his eyes glisten with tears, red-rimmed.

"Hey, hey." I pull him into my chest, kissing his head. "I'm so sorry, Ruben. I was being an asshole."

"Look me in the eye, Elle," he says, voice strained. "Look me in the eye and tell me the truth. Otherwise, you are nothing but the rest of them. Tell me you wish you had never met me. Tell me you don't love me and that I mean nothing to you because all you see in me is him."

"Ruben! I am not sorry that I met you and I am certainly not sorry that I love you. Your father was a terrible person and you have made some terrible choices. You make me angry. You make me want to scream and I question everything when I am with you. But you make me feel most alive. And I feel safe and soft with you. I love you, Ruben. There is no one else for me."

He glares at me, panting. Then he grabs my face and presses his lips to mine, kissing me with such fierceness I stifle a moan. We kiss until we fall into oblivion.

I awaken the following morning when the grey fingers of dawn spread through the room. Reaching my hand over the canvas, I search for his warmth. Only I find cold emptiness.