Forever Lost (a Harry Potter Fanfic)

Chapter Twelve...

The next day was fun After classes Blaize and I sat in a tree just talking it was nice. 

"has anyone ever told you how lovely you are" he asked

"no they haven't" I said with a smile. I then kissed him he tasted of strawberry and red apple the kiss was long and sweet and we slowly pulled away and he stared at me witch you might think to be uncomfortable but it was quite nice actually 

"I think I love you" he said and I froze.

'calm down Rose he said he thinks he loves you witch might mean that he is just thinking about it or he didn't mean to say out loud or at all, but wait if he didn't meant to say it doesn't that mean he doesn't mean it at all and what if it's a joke or something, okay calm down just stop overthinking' I thought 

"oh" I said, what that was all I could think to say in the moment.

"yeah uh do you, do you love me back" He asked 'oh no he had to ask poor guy' that little voice in my head just wouldn't shut up.

"um can I, can I think about it" I asked he looked at me with said eyes.

"oh um yes, yes of course" He said 

"I'm sorry, truly I am it's just that Love is a big word for me and I mean I have thought about it"

'no you haven't' that stupid voice again its so annoying.

" I understand take your time, I um have to go meet with Draco now but I'll see you later" he said he seemed sad.

"oh okay see you later" I replied 'oh well now you've broken the poor guys heart' that voice again ugh.

Well I I guess I should have expected it we have been dating for about a year now it took a while for me to say yes to being a couple but now I just don't know it's not that I'm not ready to be in love I just don't know if I'm ready to say it.

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The day flew bye pretty fast and I couldn't get Blaize out of my mind, did I love him did I even think I was capable of loving someone anymore.

I was walking back around trying to clear my head when someone grabbed me and pulled me into an empty classroom.

I tried to scream but they covered my mouth I was scared until I heard the voice of Fred,

"Stop screaming its only me" he spoke calmly.

"Fred what do you want I don't have time for this" I said 

"oh so you have time to walk around by yourself but no time to talk to your brother" he asked I looked down.

"what do you want" I replied

"Are you serious, what do I want, I want to talk to my sister whom I haven't spoken to In in a year who didn't even show up to Christmas, do you have any idea how heart broken mum was to hear that you were not coming you don't even right to your own family you turned your back on us and then suddenly you decide to give advise to Ginny about boys" 

"so what I'm not aloud to speak to my own sister" I asked 

"not when you have not spoken to any of us and for what so we can spend every waking moment worrying about you" he said 

"you have no right to be mad at me for not speaking to you when you all lied to me for years and no I didn't and have not spoken to any of you and for good reason do you know what it's like to have everyone around you lie about who you are, do you have any idea what that feels like to question yourself to question who you are to have to work on yourself to be happy to not even be able to tell our own boyfriend that you love him because you don't know if your capable of love anymore" a tear fell from my eyes and more with it.

"I'm sorry Rose we all are but we lied to protect you from hurting-"

"to protect me from hurting do you hear yourself right now you have no idea how much it hurt's to feel like you have only yourself" 

"only yourself Rose you chose to cut us out, you called Ginny childish but the real child hear is you mum and dad are heart broken because you refuse to speak to them I get that we hurt you but turning your back on all of us is not going to make you feel better, George didn't want me to talk to you he wanted all of us to give you space like mum has asked of us, but I think you have had enough space I miss my sister so please just have dinner with us tonight and if you don't liek it we will leave you alone forever" 

"how can you call me your sister when my hair is black and my although my name is Weasley I am related to Draco Malfoy whom you all hate so why am I different from the Malfoys when I am technically a Black" 

"like it or not we are your family and we miss you so just think about it and if you don't come I'll know that you truly do hate us"

and with that he walked away leaving me alone to think about dinner with the Weasleys. It took a while but I decided to go they were my family weather I wanted that or not I did not know but I had realized that I had been selfish and I needed to fix my mistakes maybe it would even some how help me figure out how I felt about Blaize how I felt about love at all.