// Childe x Zhongli Short Oneshots // Genshin Impact

[JOKE: Proposal Gone Wrong]

⚠️ Quick warning, this joke oneshot contains the following:

Purposely Bad grammar, stupid logic, holy gayness (duh), unmatched personalities with the characters.

If you are not the type to like incredibly sexual jokes, then I suggest you skip this one.

(This is a sequel to the previous joke-shot and also based on 'Operation Proposal!' )

Yes this is less funnier than the previous but ok.

________________

'It really has been a long time..'

'Bro. It's been 2 days. Bro.'

'Is it really time to...'

'No. Retreat. He'll reject you.'

'Okay, bitch stop interrupting my thoughts' Childe rolls his eyes,

'It's not my fault you're saying shit aloud in the kitchen.' Y/n says as she grabs an apple,

'Bruh, I wish you were still an egg, how the fuck did you turn into a full grown ass teenager in 2 days?'

'I'm born from a god, anything can happen.' y/n did a shrugie,

'Hello g'day m8 what yall doin uwu' Zhongli walked in,

'Oh- uh nothing, just thinking bout yo ass bebe ;)'

'>w< Tartaglia senpai such a sussy baka' Zhongli squirmed (Why do I write, just to suffer, please send help),

'Ew, get a room -_-' Y/n said,

(Literally one night of fuckin and suffering later..)

'Oi oi Motherfucker, literally.' Y/n walks up to Childe,

'What you want, I was just about to jerk off to Zhongli's seggsy butt pics >:('

'Well too bad, we gonna get you a ring, now get up.' Y/n puts her hand on her hips,

'Fine, ur so annoying bitch... I should've just listened to Zhongli and used the condoms..' Ajax sheeran groaned,

At Bingshingminglingchingchengxingsheng jewerly..

'Every...problem... In ao3 fanfictions......m...p..r...e..g...' a girl at the shop was documenting something,

'Yo kid.' Childe approached the girl,

'Oh hello sir, how may I help you- wait, y/n??'

'Amy?? What are you doing here??'

'Long story.. um.. so a client wants to read some fanfictions, but he can't decide if he should go to the ao3 business or wattpad business, so I'm writing every bad thing about ao3 and every good thing about wattpad, since I'm in it, this is just a part time job, since Miss Whalewhaleyuh and Tartagliaisaphag are too busy to do their shifts. Anyways, how may I help you two?'

'We'd like to see your rings, kid.'

'Sure.' Amy smiles,

'So we got the radiant, the baguette-'

'WE'LL TAKE THE BAGUETTE' Y/n gets excited,

'Good choice, honestly from my experience of working, I always have to say good choice but whatever. I don't get paid enough.. :/' Amy sighs, 'Any gems you'd like for a custom order?'

'Oh yeah, I got some cor lapis from mining, could you forge this in?'

'Oh yeah sure, I'd say this would take about..69 minutes, please be back by then.' Amy smiled,

'Thanks!' Y/n waves to Amy,

'So...uh what now?'

'I have to go meet up with a friend. Oh. And you're comin' too.

'Fine fine.'

Ajax Sheeran and Y/n walked into an alleyway, and was greeted by a person.

'Code.'

'B.O.F.A'

'And.. what's that?'

'Bofa deez nuts.' Childe said, the person smirks,

'Mr. Tar-Tar-Taglia, lover of the Geo king, there was a Paimon that got eaten by Xiangling, nice to see you again, your order is right here.'

'Thanks for the weed, smuggang.' Childe smirks back,

Outside..

'WAIT A SECOND... Weed?! Not only do you fuck my mother 24/7, you also do drugs? The fuck is wrong with you?!'

'I dunno, I'm a good multitasker though~'

'OH DONT TELL ME...' Y/n had a shocked look on her face, Childe nodded proudly,

'...Not only was I created by you raping mother, you were doing drugs at the same time too?!'

'Haha... Uh yeah...'

'You are literally the worst person I have ever met in my entire 3 days of living.'

That night... At Mt. Tianah qingbangwoyixiakeyima

Y/n was just chilling somewhere where Zhongli can't see her.

'Sup, Y/n, I got baguettes.' Amy walked over and handed her a baguette,

'Yeah, I was craving some bread too so.. ye.'

'Ok lol.'

~~~~

'Hey, you asked me to meet you here? owo'

'Zhongli... When I look in the mirror I'll vaporize your heart into two I got that superstar glow so side step, right, left to my beat, high like the moon, rock with me, baby, know that I got that heat let me show you cause talk is cheap, Zhongli would you marry me?'

'Ajax cleaner... qwq'

'Ofc I will...' Zhongli cri

Childe ran into Zhongli to hug him, and end up pushing them both down the mountain.

'Uh-' Y/n looks at the falling two,

'Should we... save them?' Amy asked, concerned,

'Nah..I think they'll be fine.'

~The End~

(Don't worry they didn't die. But Childe got arrested because of copyright.)

Author's Note: Um- This isn't really a funny chapter in my opinion but ig I'll leave it here.