Life as a Woman

Summer

Summer a time filled with sunny days and fun spent in the water. Or at least it was, that was before we become aware of our body's. Wearing swimsuits in front of people, from a two piece to a one piece the anxiety is always there. The guys coming out to get a look, even the older ones. The first time I learned it was time to cover my body and be self conscious  In summer I was 10. I can still remember it as clear as day. I was a late bloomer while everyone else learned to swim ages ago I was still struggling. This particular day I was confident it was finally going to be the day I would learn to swim. My mom tried to convince me to wear my life jacket but I didn't want to stand out, being the only kid my age still wearing one , I didn't want the kids from my school to see my like that I was already different enough. I remember how excited I was, we even got my next door neighbour and siblings to come. We just finished building sand castles, I run all the way to the water passing all the kids on my way. I  jumped in splashing all around with the sun shining down, when suddenly the light disappeared in its place this shirtless man staring down at me. He looked at me with such hungry eyes, looking me up landing on my chest before making his way back up to my eyes. He spited while he talked "looking beautiful, working hard" he winked at me as he opened his mouth to say more I ran all the way back to my mothers safe embrace. Since then I have always been self conscious when someone calls me those words, somehow they can sound like he said them or even the look I get from my grandmothers new husband when he using that same phase I feel teleported back and it isn't how I thought. My experience learned from this is what people are gonna stare no matter what you wear or how you present yourself just be true to you. Don't let them hold you down.