Speechless ( Being Edited)

Why I've been Gone

I know it's been a long time since I've updated this story. The reason why is not that simple. When I stopped updating is when a very toxic person made another attempt to reenter my life. I am related this person and have been dealing with this person trying to reenter my life on and off for a decade. My childhood trauma is caused by this person especially at the ages 13 to 15/16. I went about five years with no contact with this person. There was no physical abuse as it was all mental and emotional. Mostly caused by the blatant favoritism for those who look more towards her beauty standards, the complete opposite of me. This cause me to become severely depressed and suicidal. In high school, the school had me hospitalized fearing I was a danger to myself as the situation got really bad.

 I had not blocked this person for quiet a while thinking I would not have to deal with them other than in person exchange around other family members. This person is a liar and very manipulative. As of recently this person is telling lies to a family member close to me to cause discord between me and another family member(s). On a certain day I received a text only recognizing the caller id (a family member) and not her number. Unknown at the time they were under the same family plan. This person tried to guilt trip me on the reason they were blocked for long periods of time in my life. She has gone as far to complain to other family members on the fact she's blocked to make me feel guilty. I then blocked her on all social media; unknown to me she was trying to contact me through Facebook for months. I don't use social media as much after finding out she uses social media to keep track of me. In the past I did want to have a clean slate and have a civil relationship. I realize now that is not going to happen. 

After the initial exchange I basically went dark on all social media and platforms. For I was afraid of the lengths she would go to make herself "feel" she's part of my life. This came to more of a head as she tried to establish contact through another family member. Basically belittling me to make herself look better and lying about me. I have been dealing with my depression a large part of my life. It is now more manageable and it a less toxic environment. I am more happy with my life now.  

The transition to return will take some time but I plan to return this upcoming weeks. I feel like I owe everyone to why I went quiet. I still read all of your comments and I thank you for all of your support. Thank you all my beautiful readers and I hope to see you all again real soon.