Coldest War (War Series #2)

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Away

It was before my graduation that Martin talked to me again after we broke up. The break-up happened 1 month after the class officially started. 

Simple lang naman ang naging break up. We just clarified the things between us. Mga bata kami noon, dahil nagbakasyon, nanlamig sa isa't isa dahil sa bihirang pag-uusap.

I feel like Martin prefers someone who can give him more affection---and I'm just not that girl. I realized that maybe, I liked treating everybody like a friend that it became hard for me to be more affectionate with the person I'm in a relationship with. I am naturally caring to everybody. Kaya siguro pakiramdam ni Martin noon, I couldn't see him as someone more than a friend.

It was when I started wondering if I haven't been an effective girlfriend. Where did I lack? I wondered. Pero siguro, bata pa kasi talaga ako noon kaya hindi ko pa talaga kayang makipag-relasyon.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit n'ya ako kinausap ulit bago ang graduation ko. It was one of our break times when he suddenly went to our building and asked for me. 

Tinanaw ko sa likod ni Martin ang mga kaibigan n'yang nasa hindi kalayuan at kinawayan ko sila nang may ngiti sa mga labi. They waved back at me. Mukhang hinihintay nilang matapos ang pag-uusap namin ni Martin. 

Mas nag-mature na sila nang mag-highschool. I wonder if Martin met someone new too? If he has someone new, I will be really happy for him. Martin is a really good guy. He cares for his partner well. I've experienced it. Alam kong suwerte ang babaeng susunod n'yang magugustuhan.

"Aalis ka raw?" Tanong ni Martin sa akin at bumalik ang tingin ko sa kan'ya .

"Yeah," tango at ngiti ko sa kan'ya.

It's been a while since I last saw him! He looks better now than the way he looked when we broke up. I heard that he's really popular in his batch. Hindi na nakakapagtaka.

"Bakit?" He asked.

"Do'n na magta-trabaho si Dad," I said, still smiling. 

"Kaya ba..." he trailed off. "Kaya ba pumayag kang makipaghiwalay kaagad?"

Kumunot ang noo ko, hindi kaagad nakuha ang ibig n'yang sabihin. I looked at his eyes and I can see disappointment and regret on them.

"Dahil ba natatakot kang. . .tayo pa rin kahit nasa ibang bansa ka na? Kasi mahihirapan tayong dalawa?"

I never thought that he'd think that way. When he broke up with me. . .I thought, he just doesn't feel like it's working anymore so he had to let go. Noon bang nakipaghiwalay s'ya, inaasahan n'yang tatanggi ako? Is that it?

But how can I refuse when he asked me? I just thought that he needed it. Naisip ko rin namang kung ayaw n'ya na, hindi ko naman maipipilit.

"Hindi. . ." I mumbled, staring at him. "You broke up with me so. . ." hindi ko na tinuloy ang sinasabi.

"It's because I thought you don't like me anymore," aniya.

"I like you, Martin," I told him, confused. 

Wasn't I able to make him feel that I liked him? I liked his personality. I liked hanging out with him. Akala n'ya ba, hindi ako naging masaya?

Martin stared at me like he felt happy with what he heard and disappointed at the same time.

"You say you like me but I can't feel it," aniya.

I tilted my head on the side. What does he mean?