Includes Steve, Tony, Bucky, Thor, Loki, Clint, Natasha, Peter (Parker and Quill), Bruce, Wanda, Vision, T'Challa, Shuri, Gamora, and anyone I inevitably missed....
And hell, I didn't know her, but why not another one to Gamora. She was important to the Guradians, that much I know. So many of us lost too much.
'Cause the drinks bring back all the memories Of everything we've been through
The buzz of the alcohol is starting to become stronger. All my body wants is sleep, but all my mind wants is more alcohol to stop the memories from coming to me. The alcohol brings them back at first, but then brings me into sleep. It's an uncomfortable, unhealthy cycle. But it's the only one I know now.
Toast to the ones here today
I try to remember we won. We won, and we brought everyone back, and that should make up for our losses, but it doesn't. I know they came back. Wanda, T'Challa, Shuri, Stephen Strange... But I still feel empty and alone.
Toast to the ones that we lost on the way
One more to Loki. He may have been a son of a bitch, but he was Thor's brother. And to be honest, I wouldn't be the woman I am today, would never have joined the Avengers, if he hadn't invaded. He deserved better, if what Thor said is true, they all did.
'Cause the drinks bring back all the memories And the memories bring back, memories bring back you
The drinking makes me become sentimental. I play some old videos saved on the database at the compound. I spend all my time at the compound now. The videos are security logs that contain old footage of failed experiments, training days, and just 'team bonding' moments.
I laugh at the footage of Nat and I messing with the rookies. We'd lectured Vison on 'proper' human etiquette. We had him use the dated slang and mannerisms on Wanda and Sam. I'd never seen Sam so disturbed. But then I'm crying because I have to remember she's gone.
Memories bring back, memories bring back you
I remember late nights with Tony, where he'd just go on and on about either how amazing Pepper is or how self-righteous Steve is. I remember Natasha and I assigning each member of the team an unofficial label for family members. Her and I were the only ones who truly saw the Avengers as our family. Except maybe Steve. We named him the Mom. The memories come back to me, so vividly, like it all happened yesterday, it's like I can feel their presence. A phantom touch. A reflex. Nonetheless, it makes me cry harder.
There's a time that I remember when I never felt so lost When I felt all of the hatred was too powerful to stop (ooh, yeah)
I'm lost without them. Would they have been so lost without me? Maybe it should have been me. Maybe it would have been different. If only. Now it just feels like hate is all that's left. Hate and fear.
Now my heart feel like an ember and it's lighting up the dark I'll carry these torches for ya that you know I'll never drop, yeah
It feels like everything inside of me is a flickering flame, like all that's left is a dim coal. The only reason it keeps burning is because I know I have to live for them. Though o doubt this is what they would call living.
Everybody hurts sometimes Everybody hurts someday, ayy ayy
But it hurts too much to live any other way.
But everything gon' be alright
Maybe it'll be okay one day. But it's not today, it hasn't been for the past few weeks, and it won't be for a very long time. Maybe it'll never be okay. I'm starting to feel like it won't.
Go and raise a glass and say, ayy
My visions starts blurring, a signal that I've consumed too much alcohol. It's exactly what I wanted though. I raise my glass as the end of the night nears.
Here's to the ones that we got (oh) Cheers to the wish you were here, but you're not
"Thank you to that ones that joined me, goodbye to the ones that aren't.
'Cause the drinks bring back all the memories Of everything we've been through (no, no)
You brought me a great deal of pain, leaving me with only the memories. But I understand why you did it. Just promise to wait for me.
Toast to the ones here today (ayy) Toast to the ones that we lost on the way
I'm grateful that many of us got to come home, but I lost so much. I hate it so Goddamn much! But I promise, the sacrifices weren't and will not be in vain.
'Cause the drinks bring back all the memories (ayy) And the memories bring back, memories bring back you
Because ultimately, the memories bring you back to me, if only for a short time. And if you're with me, I can find a way to keep saving this world."
"I can't find a way on my own." I cry out, as if making a sobbing confession. "I've been alone for weeks because they've all decided I'm not worth it, and I'm starting to believe them. With out you, I don't who I am.
Memories bring back, memories bring back you
They memories hurt too much! They trick me, make me think you're still here, but your not!" I scream. "Why aren't you here?" I whisper.
