Leverage H.S.

12 | Jamie - Truth for truth?

Somehow we had found ourselves in this slightly awkward place of not knowing what both of us felt or what to do next. I was in the headspace of if I admitted what I felt then it was going to bite me in the ass eventually.

"Good Morning J, how's the head?" he murmured into the back of head before shifting himself to hold me tighter. It seemed Harry was also relishing in the closeness before the world came crashing down. His voice was thick and grovely making it sound even deeper than usual. It was a sound I found myself wanting to hear more often.

"It hurts," I whined, screwing my eyes shut again. "I don't remember anything after arriving at the bar last night. How'd I end up here?" I still made no effort to move. Relishing in his touch. I started to absentmindedly trail my fingers across his arm that was around my waist.

All of this felt strange. Really strange. It wasn't the acts that were strange or that it was me and Harry. It was the fact that it felt normal, like we had done it a thousand times before. That made it strange.

I felt him nuzzle into the back of my head and shrug his shoulders against my back causing me to smile to myself and hum at the feeling of him so close to me. "Comfy there?" I asked him to which he just nodded. "What are we doing Harry? This isn't us. We don't do this. We don't like each other."

He huffed out a huge sigh and loosened his grip on me. I used this to turn around so I was laid face to face with him, our noses almost touching. He opened his eyes so we were looking directly at each other whilst being less than an inch apart.

"If I tell you the truth will you do the same? If that's one thing we've pretty much always done it's speak honestly." He looked intently at me, staring into my soul with his vivid but glossy from sleep eyes. I could see how much vulnerability he was harbouring in this moment.

"Sure." I whispered into the space between us. I was scared of talking too loud and ruining this moment between us. I tucked both of my hands under the pillow that my head was resting on and waited for him to speak.

"I've never hated you. I think it's always been a little bit of jealousy. You came here and were so much younger, yet in the space of 2 or 3 years you had gotten to the same level of trust and skill as me and it bothered me y'know? I watched you become a woman and I was in awe of how strong you were especially in this business. I guess I just wanted everything you seemed to get for nothing. Now, I see it wasn't for nothing. You're broken just like the rest of us. I've been thinking a lot lately and I think I actually do have some form of romantic feeling for you. Not love. Gross. Definitely something though. Now, I've talked enough. Truth time. Go."

Harry closed his eyes, seeming shy all of a sudden but I don't blame him, that was a speech and a half. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to digest that in one go. He confirmed my suspicions of jealousy. He really did have no idea what I went through, I am broken, as he put it.

So I did the only thing I could think to do. I kissed him. Again. It was just a gentle kiss. His lips were soft against my own. It was so quick that he didn't have time to kiss me back. "I never hated you either. You sure as hell pissed me off a few times," we smiled softly at one another. "Thanks for the gun shot by the way." He went to say something but I interrupted him before he could. "I know. Shut up. I've always liked you Harry, you just never let me show you because you were too blinded by your own jealousy."

I bit my bottom lip nervously. Anxious over what I had confessed to him. I felt his hand rest on my cheek and use his thumb to pull my bottom lip free. "Don't do that." he whispered.

The atmosphere around us was both heavy and lighter at the same time. Heavy with anticipation, lighter with the air cleared surrounding our feelings.