STAR WARS IMAGINES

poe dameron | traitor [part two]

as requested, part two :-) 1.1k words

took a few days off bc i was getting incredibly discouraged by how few interactions i have been getting on my stories but i just stepped back, enjoyed writing without feedback for a bit, and now i am just gonna write for me again. i enjoy what i write and that is what matters.

The years passed and your life moved on without Poe Dameron. Moving on without him wasn't closure so much as it was just going. Going without seeing him, hearing from him, and eventually without thinking about him. 

The Resistance consumed all of your attention and you were grateful that it did. It gave you the opportunity to move on without mourning. You cut off all thoughts and feelings about Poe and buried them deep down. They were so far in the past. They were in another life. Who you were on Yavin-4 was so different than who you were on Kijimi. 

New friends, new boyfriends, new people all filled your life. Breakups and fall-outs, crushes and introductions, first dates and second dates and third dates. You had a group of wonderful friends and dated from time to time. Nothing ever got too serious and none of the breakups hurt you all that much.

You were a captain of the Resistance by your fifth year in the war. Your best friend, Kaydel Ko Connix, was all the family you could've asked for. She was your roommate and your other half. Your sister. You had everything you thought you needed, because so long as you had all of these people and these memories and these moments to bury every single fragment of Poe left within your mind and your heart, you were all right.

Except you weren't. Because seeing him just once would shatter the whole illusion you had worked so hard to piece together. Deep down, you knew that. And truly, you didn't think you'd ever see him again.

But you did, and when your eyes landed on him from across the room and you took in the sight of his bright orange Resistance jumpsuit and his messy curls and his soft eyes expressing all of the surprise of seeing you too --- everything shattered. 

A thousand broken pieces of glass that had coated your heart and eyes and mind. A million fragments that held you together were all over the floor. Your shoulders slumped and your breath left your lungs and everything except for him faded away. He was brought back into focus and all you wanted to do was pretend you didn't know him, but that wasn't possible.

The first boy you ever loved. The first boy you ever kissed. Your first best friend. The times you held his hand as he cried and cried and cried over the loss of his mother. The moments you stayed up with him all night and grieved with him. The love of your life, until he wasn't anymore. Until you weren't his anymore. He was still all of those things to you. Your best friend. The love of your life. The only person in the galaxy capable of capturing your heart like that. He was all of those things in a different life that you never let yourself look back on. 

But now you were in reverse. You were being turned all the way around and now there were new rules keeping you in place. You cannot be turned around. You cannot look back. You're moving forward, right back to him, and you're coming to a crashing end all at once. 

The pain, ignited inside of you, stings in every physical way. His eyes are angry and sad and surprised and soft all at once, as if his own emotions are knocking him around like a huge wave.

It would be easy to ignore him but he chose to follow you when you walked the other way. He chose to call your name and reach for your hand as if several years and a heavy layer of betrayal weren't between you and him.

"What?" you spat, harsher than you intended. It shocked you to hear yourself.

"I... I had no idea you were here," he whispered. You rolled your eyes. "No --- honest. I heard rumors, of course, but... but you're here. On Yavin?"

"Yes," you said.

"I can't believe it. I mean... you look great. I knew you would, but---"

Hands on his hips, pretty face all stupidly blissful and eyes all dreamy --- it made you nauseous to think of how much you still liked looking at him.

He betrayed you, broke you, hurt you, shut you down. So many wrongs committed against you and he didn't take the blame for a single one of them. He would never feel sorry. He would never see anything he did was wrong.

Truly, you hated him.

A smile spread his perfect lips and he tilted his head. " ___, I think of you every single day."

"What?"

He was so happy. He looked as foolishly happy as he did years ago, when days were full of adventure and danger. "I missed you."

You shook your head slightly. It was impossible to understand his approach. Was this the boy that broke up with you and started dating a new girl not even two weeks later?

"I'm not with Zorii anymore," he said. "We ended things pretty quickly after you left. So I stopped spice running and everything. I started over on a clean slate."

You stepped away from him. Interesting how he could do all of those things when you weren't with him, but couldn't when you asked him. When he had you. He never did anything to keep you.

"Well, good for you," you replied.

"Good for me?" He blinked. "That's it?"

"What do you want me to say, Dameron?" you scoffed. "That I am happy for you? You ruined my life in every possible way. You broke more than my heart when you left me --- and you know what? I don't need to talk about this. I'm not your girlfriend. I'm not even your friend. Just leave me alone, got it?"

"___, look---"

"I don't want to," you whispered. You pulled your hurt inside of you, letting it spread across your broken heart, seal it with hatred and bitterness. It was better to face him with these feelings. It was safer. Because you sounded so wounded, as if every cut in your heart was fresh all over again.  "I don't want this. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to work."

"I know we ended things messy, but---"

"But you think I owe you a second chance? I'm not doing it again. Like I said, I have work to do. I'll see you around, I guess." Your eyes noted the badge he wore. "Captain, right?"

He swallowed as if there was a bitter taste in his mouth. "Yeah."

"Okay." You nodded. "Have a good day, Captain. If you need me... it looks like I will be your Commander."

"Looks like it."

"Yeah." You couldn't look at him anymore, because your hate and the way you wanted to look at him didn't match. You looked away and started walking, knowing confidently that he wouldn't be following you at your heels again.

i will be doing a part 3