Diamond in the Making

39. Cigarette Stained Lies

You'd think I am used to a life without love. After my parents died, I was alone. No good night kisses, no family talks, no compassion from a single soul.

I lost the love I so carelessly took advantage of. You never really know what you had until you lose it. I buried my emotions so deep in my soul that they screamed for a way to escape. Craving the love I once had.

The years started to numb the pain. I accepted the fact that I was alone and the only person I should ever rely on was myself. That is until I met Nate. He changed my whole view on emotions. Helped me to get in touch with myself and my feelings once again. Showed me once again what it felt like to be loved and in love.

There are three words that can be said that people think change everything. I love you. When in reality the words mean nothing at all. You need to understand the meaning behind them for them to be significant. There's passion, desire, affection, the list goes on and on. 

I didn't know how much I missed it until I felt it again. When you have it, you can't imagine losing it. But now that I know it's there and what it feels like, I wonder if a life, which I once lived without love, is even worth living?

Nate left for California this morning and he won't be back until tomorrow night so I'm stuck with Theo when I get back home.

My mind kept wandering to Nate, I couldn't help it. I just feel like we are in such a good place, almost like I'd be ready to take the next step in our relationship. Is it too soon to think of marriage or to just consider it? I never thought the right guy was out there for me, I assumed I would end up a broken-hearted crazy cat lady. But I guess that can't happen because Nate is the perfect guy and I like dogs better than cats.

One of my store associates had to leave early today and I was more than happy to step up to the plate. I exited my excluded office and made my way towards the elegant showroom.

The ring Nate got me to make sat beautifully in the display case just waiting to be taken home and shown off. The blood red ruby stood out from the crystal clear diamonds that surrounded it. The ring was gorgeous and I was proud that I had a part in its beauty.

I guess it's true what they say, diamonds are a girl's best friend. I can spend hours next to them just watching how they sparkle.

Time flew by and I helped a few customers and made some sales. All in all a good day other than Nate's security watching every single person who took a step near me.

There's about an hour before we close so I tried to kill time by polishing some of the jewelry. I rubbed the diamonds with the cloth and turned it in the direction of the light watching it glimmer.

The clearing of someone's throat caught my attention. I looked up to see the blonde headed bitch. How did I know she wasn't done with me yet?

"Hey Zara, I'm glad you're working today," she said, belittling me.

"What are you doing here Daphne?" I asked with a sour tone.

"What, I'm not allowed to shop?" She asked, rolling her eyes. No, I don't want her to shop here. I'm embarrassed to see her wear any of my work. "I'm here to pick up something I had made," she seemed quite content.

I never made anything for her and last time I checked I'm the only one who makes the jewelry.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well I didn't have it made but my fiancé did," she said proudly. Fiancé? The last guy I saw her with was Brad, could it be him? "Maybe I should have been more clear," she interrupted my thoughts. "I'm picking up my engagement ring. It's under Harris," my heart dropped into my stomach as the words left her lips.

I held up one finger telling her to wait. I stumbled on my feet as I backed away towards where Sienna was organizing papers. Gripping the display case as I walk along to keep me balanced. My heart beat out of my chest. She has to be lying but what kind of sick person would lie about this? There was only one way to clear my head, I needed to call Nate. I'm going to give him a chance, I don't know if now is the right time considering my state of mind but I had to do it.

I picked up the store's phone and dialed his number as I nervously fiddled with the coiled phone cord.

"Hello?" He answered confusedly.

"Nate," I said in acknowledgment as I attempted to collect my thoughts.

"Zara?"

"Your fiancé is here," I said, waiting to see his reaction. I thought it would be a dead giveaway because it's catching him by surprise. I wish I was wrong but the silence coming from the other end of the line gave me the answer.

"I can explain," he muttered out after a few seconds.

"Nate, I just want you to answer one question. Did I make the ring for her?" Did I spend months working on something that I thought was for his mother but is actually for someone I despise?

It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. His response could make or break me.

"I know I fucked up, just let me try to explain," he said. I could tell he was getting agitated, I could see him now running his fingers through his hair.

"Just answer the question," I said calmly. I don't know how I was so calm. Maybe it was because I already knew all the answers by the way he was acting.

"Yes, you did but-" he began but I hung up as fast as I could.

I feel like my heart has just been ripped into pieces. He never once denied that Daphne is his fiancé. As much as I wish she was lying, I know now it's true.

"Sienna, can you deal with that customer," I said pointing to Daphne. "And can you lock up tonight because I'm gonna head out?"

"Yeah, no problem," she said hesitantly.

"I'll call you later," I reassured her.

I walked back to my office getting my belongings and heading for my car hoping none of Nate's men saw me but knowing they did.

Was this all a game? A big charade? Are Nate and Daphne in this together to fuck up my life? I know what Nate and I had felt was real but I couldn't stop myself from thinking such bizarre things. I cannot believe I was such an idiot, he's been playing me for such a long time. He tells me he loves me meanwhile he's got a fiancé and it's Daphne of all fucking people. He's such a liar. How did I love a liar? How did I not realize I was living a lie?

His father's attitude and rude comments suddenly make sense. I am basically a homewrecker. I've been sleeping with a soon to be married man and I feel dirty. I'm disgusted with myself.

I need to get away from here because I can't take this feeling any longer. I'm done. I give up on any sort of happily ever after.

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😱😱😱
Please don't hate me.
I'm sorry but it needed to be done.
What are your thoughts?
Predictions?