Still With You | JK ff

Chapter 15 - Bang, Bang!

The scratching sound of the dry brush bristles dragging across the hardened canvas surface felt soothing, its monotone drag almost slowing down into a sleepy drawl leaving a gentle tingling sensation in your scalp and down the back of your neck. You had been at it for hours, gently brushing away the dust from the minute crevices on the surfaces, and then wiping them down with a carefully mixed soapy solution. Jungkook's studio looked very different now, than the first time you had seen it a couple of weeks ago. Since then, you had been coming back every other day, taking your time to unhook the paintings down from the walls, and out of the covered piles and laying them out on the floor, grouping them by their art movements, styles and medium. Out of Jungkook's entire proposal, the part about curating and archiving his collection had perhaps excited you the most. You had been aching to study every single piece since the moment you had stepped into the room. The process of archiving itself, was something you had studied in school, and going through the motions of the methodical steps eased your nerves from thinking about the rest. The thought of beginning to conceptualize your own collection still pushed you to the very edge of panic attacks. Apparently, "fuck fear" was easier said than done. Thinking about the project was like quicksand, the more you scrambled to reason with yourself, desperate to find logical arguments that would justify your place, the more you sank deeper into the pit of self-doubt. The only thing that pulled you out of that whirlpool that threatened to suck you under, was Jungkook.

His eyes that day had sparkled as he had shared his plans with you animatedly. His hands had swung in the air before him, gesturing exasperatedly, as his brows had scrunched together while he collected his thoughts. His passion was infectious, bringing goosebumps over your skin, just thinking about how devoted he was to the initiative and how meaningful the project would be when it finally came to life, giving a place for people like you to belong. It had surprised you how much Jungkook's childhood mirrored your own, solitude being the driving force for both of you to find respite in art. To have the opportunity to make a difference while doing what you loved, was a dream come true, more than you could have ever expected from your life, and certainly more than what you thought you deserved. But Jungkook – he was convinced he had found inspiration from you, even though you couldn't really see it. He had gazed at you with translucent eyes, his lips pressed together in an involuntary pout, with an expression of pure innocence. The more he had spoken that day, the more you were convinced he was an angel, and it would be blasphemy to strip the smile off that face for such a thing as fear. You had convinced yourself that you would push yourself harder than ever to be worthy of the respect and attention that this man showered over you. You would do anything to make him happy.

Your phone's buzz interrupted the scraping sound of the brush and you crawled on all fours in the aisles between the rows of paintings laid out on the floor to the other end of the room where you had left it stranded a few hours ago.

Jungkook: Did you know you snore?

You snorted with embarrassment at his text. Since Jungkook had been busy the past few weeks with shoots for their new collab with PSY, you hadn't had a chance to meet and had been texting each other furiously. It all started quite simply with one or two texts to talk about work or to check up on each other, which quickly morphed into a never-ending conversation between you, both funny and cute. It was evident that you both desperately wanted to cling to each other, even if just virtually, unwilling to let the conversation die, and letting the texts jump from one topic to another as you swapped stories about your families, siblings, friends and anything and everything under the sun, just voraciously trying to learn more about each other. He'd often send you pictures of his outfits of the day, leaning forward with pouted lips like he was reaching out to kiss you, that always had your cheeks blushing until they were bright pink. He'd send other pictures too, like of his meals or the sets they'd be shooting on, and selcas with the other members. In return, you had been sharing pictures of the studio that had been quickly becoming a busy mess and other snaps of different paintings that has particularly caught your attention. Sometimes he'd disappear for hours on end, occupied with his schedule, only to flood your phone with a myriad of texts all at once when he'd finally return. You would be lying if you said that you hadn't been reaching for your phone with butterflies in your stomach whenever you received a notification, only to be disappointed if it wasn't from him.