Super | Dreamnotfound

Feelings are confusing

Chapter 26

Clay was wringing his hands together together and letting his leg bounce up and down with no desire to stop his fidgeting.

His eyes followed Dr Puffy closely as she grabbed her iPad and sat down opposite him. She gave him a kind smile.

"It's wonderful that you came to see me Clay, by your own decision." She said. Clay nodded, his eyes watching closely as she wrote something on her iPad.

"Just before we start I just have to go over the confidentiality thing-"

"I already know. Everything I say is confidential unless you think me or someone else may in danger of being hurt. Or drugs. Or suicidal thoughts. I know, my friend told me." Clay said. Puffy gave him a curious smile.

"Yes, that's right. I'm just here to support you in any way I can but I'm only a high school councillor." She said. Clay nodded, his eyes travelling to the small box of toys in front of him.

He reached out and grabbed the blue fidget spinner, immediately flicking it in his fingers.

"Why do you have toys?" He asked, tilting the spinning gadget.

"They are fidget toys. Keeps your hands busy if you need it." She said, watching him closely. Clay put the fidget spinner back and pulled out a small white cube with buttons and things on it. He furrowed his eyebrows as he rotated it, testing out all its switches and buttons.

"So if I recall, your attendance hasn't been too good, but your father denied the five appointments with me. Correct?" She said. Clay nodded, deciding the light switch on the cube was his favourite side.

"Yeah, but I think it's important to talk to people about things, so you don't explode." He said.

"That's very true. Is there anything in particular that brought you here today?" She asked. Clay looked up.

"Well, I don't really know to be honest. I've just been in my head a lot the past week or so, sort of questioning who I am." He said, clicking the switch.

"Questioning who you are? I see." She said, making a quick note. Clay sat up straighter, putting the fidget cube down with wide eyes.

"Wait, I didn't mean like I'm questioning. Like my sexuality. I just mean like who I am. And where I belong." He said. He knew his sexuality. He just wasn't comfortable with anyone else knowing yet. Puffy smiled and nodded.

"That's ok, Clay. It's hard for teenagers to figure out who they are. You have a lot to think about as a senior. Careers, colleges, relationships, friendships, sexuality, interests, goals. It's alright to be confused about everything." She said. Clay relaxed and sat back in his seat, his fingers choosing to fiddle with his shirt again.

"What happened to your head? If you want to share." She said. Clay hesitated.

"I got stitches after hitting it against the dining table."

"Ouch. Does it still hurt? Do you have a concussion?" She asked. Clay shrugged.

"I might. Can't really tell to be honest."

"I thought the doctor would have tested for that." Puffy commented.

"She did. Said it was mild, difficult concentrating or something. But I already have that." He said, his eyes landing on the toys again.

Puffy watched his gaze and smiled.

"Try this one. It's my personal fav." She said, picking out the Pop It fidget square. Clay took it and immediately started poking at the bubbles.