Erosion of the Heart

Uh, Loki?

There was a weight lifted off my entire being. That said a lot about our relationship. It took me some time but I had to face the fact that it was an abusive relationship. Ironically separating myself from Captain America made me free. And what was the first thing I did with that new found freedom? SEX. Lots and lots of no attachments, no names, sex. Men, women, one time, all night, several days in a row, my place, their place, any place! I wasn't broken up at all about Steve leaving. He sent me a flip phone in the mail. An apology.

But after I opened it I went to dinner with Rhodes, got caught up in a conversation with a very smart woman took her to a hotel and let her scientifically seduce my clothes off and we lasted the entire night.

I forgot about the phone.

Next order of business was work obviously. As much as I could probably get paid to stay in bed with someone all day, I still held my company together and afloat. It was endless nights multitasking with a few rebuilding and remodeling suit sessions while on call with a few interested parties in stocks and investments, as well as inquiries of dinner dates. I was thrilled to be at work again for endless unhealthy hours of the night and day. Anxiety attacks still came. I think it was the realization of how little time I had on this Earth. I couldn't work fast enough to accomplish the result the world needed. And what was that result? Did anyone really know? Would peace be possible? When I'm gone what will people know about me? Will they even remember? Tony Stark Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist, Iron Man. And those who knew me what would they say? Selfish, disloyal, heartless, destructive, inhuman...?

After the anxiety left the exhaustion and depression set in. But I couldn't stop working, it was the one thing I could do with all the extra energy I used to panic.

On the fourth week of deep depression, anxiety, and no sleep I decided I had enough of being a victim. In relationships, to anxiety, and depression. The following morning I took up yoga, meditation, an exercise routine, a sleep schedule to roughly follow and slowly began pulling myself up out of the pit of despair and riding out the waves of anxiety. I finally started to get ahold of myself and began to attend more meetings in person, charity events, public speaking events, and just hanging out.

Which is how I found that Loki was hiding among the common aristocrat population in fancy bars.

"I imagine being adopted by the rule makers gives you a quick time out in a posh prison cell." I came up behind him while he sipped his drink from a thin glass. He coughed chinking on the cocktail and spun around looking me up and down.

"Stark!?" He cleared his throat and set himself up straight and looked around, "Just you? Where are your friends?"

"What are you doing here?" I ignored his question, he stole another up and down glance at me but didn't seem at all threatened. Probably because I was in the wrong suit to look intimidating. Just a casual suit for informal gathering.

He held up his drink, "I thought you were supposed to be smart. Must I answer the obvious?"

"Cheeky bastard. I mean here on Earth."

"Again Anthony," He took a slow sip, "What was your IQ again?"

"I still haven't forgiven you for using my tower as your center stage hissy fit. And throwing me out of my own window."

"You hold a grudge." He laughed, "Allow me to buy you a drink as I reassure you that my priorities have changed. But I am not sorry."

"No thanks. I don't drink." But he set a glass down in front of me with some whisky. My eyes drifted back up to his and caught an almost innocent smile. "I don't drink." I repeated sliding the glass away.

"You offered me one last time. Have you changed since then?"

"I don't have to tell you anything. I'm making a call to SHIELD."

"No!" He jumped taking my hand pulling it away from my pocket, "Please don't do that. I'll tell you why I'm here." He shifted in his chair pulling his hand into his lap and started on his explanation. He'd been manipulated by a man named 'Thanos'. His plan was to help weaken Earth so Thanos could claim half of it's population. With humans in a disarray he'd be able to easily rule over them.

"I very wrongly underestimated Midgard. A mistake I have learned from." He took another sip, "However I have a higher hope that you humans can stand up to a force like Thanos."

I felt my tension leave as he went on, taking a seat next to him, and absentmindedly took a sip of the drink he had offered me. Time passed, people came and went, and we stayed. He didn't sound deceptive, his body language was too relaxed to give off any hint of any constructed lies being told and needing to be kept track of.

"Why are you telling me all of this?" I asked, "You're not lying, that's not like you at all."

"Oh, you knew me so well before did you?"

"I've dabbled in Norse mythology after the events of your brother-"

"He's not my brother."

"Still holding a grudge? Is he looking for you?"

He gave a shrug, "I don't care. Even if he is I don't have to answer to him. He's not a king." He crossed his arms and kept his eyes on me. They were a different color from what I remember last time I was closer to him. A green to match his green shirt. Seemed like the tesseract had shaded his eyes a icy cold blue when it was powering his greed for power. "So, you've read about me. I don't remember giving you humans any personal information about my life. What could those books possibly have right about me? Say I fucked a horse and I'll cause a scene." He finished with a growl between clenched teeth. I couldn't help but smile. Because the family tree to any 'God' is quiet complicated and morally wrong and gross. It had him married to three wives one having had been under age when he took a liking to her. A masculine woman worrier in the forest of some kind, and another sorceress.

"They all tell a tragic and mixed up tale of someone unable to mind his tongue and getting himself in trouble then playing the victim." I answered. He scoffed rolling his eyes. "But the punishments are kind of brutal even for a joke gone out of hand. Turning one kid into a wolf to eat the other? That's insane."

He smiled softly his eyes looking sad. Was he really drunk? The Loki I met before was nothing like this.

"I know what you're thinking." He said pulling his legs up in his seat, "Both literally and figuratively. You and I got off on the wrong foot- you and all of Midgard. But I'd like to prove that I'm not just a 'bad guy'. Things aren't always as black and white as we'd like them to be. Right? There's nothing that is that easy."

"Alright. You've caught my attention." I lifted a brow, "I won't call SHIELD. Loki, you're in hiding from Thanos now. Aren't you? You're hiding here because staying in Asgard will attract him there and you know they won't stand a chance against him. But Earth already has a reputation and he's not ready to face us."

"Oh I wouldn't put down Asgard's army that quickly but... I don't want to take any chances. They're most afraid of the Iron Man." He finished with a smile.

"Hm, that's almost flattering." I looked down to realize I finished the glass of whisky and he was pushing me another.

"Tell me Anthony," He shifted again in his chair leg crossed over the other and chin resting in a palm as his elbow rest against the counter, "Are you still getting over your ex by getting under someone else?"

"Read that in the headlines?" I asked shrugging and took the glass to drink again.

He gave a chuckle and wiggled closer lowering his voice before asking, "Do you have time for one more mistake between your sheets?"