Red Vs Blue, & there's Magenta: The Finale

Chapter 6 Along Came A Spider

The Rebels and Feds were preparing for the assault on Crash Site Alpha. However, two Feds had yet to move the Warthogs they were supposed to.

Kimball: Alright men, let's get this hog lined up with the others.

Fed 1: Uh, have you filled out the vehicle request form?

Kimball: What are you talking about?

Fed 2: The Federal Army follows a very strict regiment when it comes to requesting weapons and vehicles.

Kimball: Well, this isn't the Federal Army.

Fed 1: Tell me about it. . .

Kimball: Listen you little-

Wash: You two. Why isn't this Warthog over with the rest of the vehicles?

Fed 2: Oh, Agent Washington!

Fed 1: We will get right on that, sir.

Wash: Good.

The two men entered the vehicle.

Wash: Now, is there anything you feel like you should say to General Kimball?

Fed 1: . . . . . Bitch.

And he drove away before Wash could get to him.

Wash: Hey!

Kimball: Remind to put those two on the front line.

Wash: Don't you start, too.

Kimball: I told you they won't listen. They're just a bunch of mindless drones that do whatever Doyle tells them to do.

Wash: . . . And you're the leader of the cave dwelling savages that blow things up to get what they want.

Kimball: You know that's not true.

Wash: Well, you haven't done anything to prove them wrong yet, have you?

Kimball: Agent Washington, I'd appreciate it if you didn't lecture me on how to make friends with the enemy. . .

Wash: The enemy?

Kimball: . . . You know what I mean.

Wash: We're all on the same side here, Kimball. Have some faith. If you start believing in them, maybe they'll start believing in you.

Kimball: Yeah. . . Maybe.

They then heard a very undesirable situation.

Jensen: Excuse me, vehicle coming through.

Wash: Please tell me that wasn't Jensen.

The crash they heard answered his question.

Simmons: God DAMMIT!

Jensen: Sorry!

Wash and Kimball walked over to see a mass of vehicles with Jensen's Warthog atop it all.

Simmons: How?! HOW was that possible?! You were going like five miles and hour!

Jensen: Uhhh, I'm sorry sir. Just bad luck, I guess.

Palomo then popped up on the other end of the crash.

Palomo: Yeah, uh. . . Just so you know. . . I'm fine.

He was then hit by another Warthog.

Bitters: This where we parking the cars?

*Chorus - Unsettled Territory*

Rachel: Epsilon. . . Hey Church!

Church: Huh? What? What?

Rachel: I said. . . Is this where we're parking?