Ultraviolent [Kylo Ren X Reader]

Chapter Twenty-Three

You were woken by the scraping of a pan against the grates of the stovetop, the sound echoing throughout Kylo's home. As much as you wanted to spend time with him, to see what he was getting himself into, you couldn't seem to will your limbs to move, your vessels feeling as if they had been filled with cement. Your bones groaned in protest as you rolled onto your opposite side, attempting to burrow yourself farther into the safe haven of Kylo's comforter. 

Though you couldn't say that you were close to Callum Perkins, you had both worked side by side since the start of your medical career. No matter what, it was a tough blow, and you were unsure if you would recover. You reminisced on patients you both had equal parts in saving, the laughs shared over cups of coffee, trying anything to stay awake, singing Christmas songs with the nurses around a faux three-foot Spruce tree, decorated with a garland of paperclips, when you were all unable to spend the holiday with your family because your patients depended on you. 

And now, he's gone...

You couldn't remember if you held the same grief in your heart when your mother had passed away, confined to the hospital bed, an assortment of anti-anxiety and pain medications pumping throughout her system as you clutched her hand, hoping and praying to anyone that would listen for a miracle, to see her as you remembered her; brilliant and loving. On days like these are when you wished, tears streaming down your cheeks, to have her wrap you up in one of her smothering 'mama bear' hugs, as she called them. 

Kylo's deep voice resonated through his home, speaking lowly over someone over the phone. You couldn't bring yourself to listen to his words, or even really care who he was speaking to. The smell of pancakes wafted into the bedroom, but the thought of eating made your stomach roll. 

It had been four days since the Coast Guard pulled Perkins' body from the Hudson River. Thankful that you had paid-time-off hours you still needed to use up, you had laid in Kylo's bed, only weakly crawling out of it to use the bathroom and shower, your appetite nowhere to be found. You knew that Kylo was concerned, but you honestly couldn't find it within yourself to care. 

A loud banging of the front door made you jump, pulling your pillow over your head, tucking the edge of the comforter beneath it, hoping that it would protect you from whomever was wanting access to the house, or you. 

"Where is she?" Vicrul's voice resounded through the home, causing you to roll your eyes, even though no one could see them. 

Kylo, you fucking tattletale...

You curled up into a ball, trying to keep the comforter wrapped around you so tight, that if Vic or Kylo attempted to pull it off, they would have to fight you for it. Two sets of heavy footsteps echoed off of the walls, growing in volume as they stormed closer. 

"Alright, it's time to get up and eat." Vic said, no doubt standing at the foot of the bed, arms crossed over his chest, his once glittering green eyes now tight and cold. You simply laid there, letting his words fall upon deaf ears. 

Kylo mumbled your name, resting his giant hand on your hip, his body heat permeating through the comforter, warming you. As much as you didn't want to burden him with your grief, you felt as if you were now one with your side of his bed, conjoined in a way that you couldn't quite wrap your brain around. 

With a grumble under his breath, Vicrul attempted to rip the covers off of you, eliciting a deep groan from your chest. 

"Well, at least I know you're fucking alive!" he continued, releasing his grip of the fabric, undoubtably running his hands through his hair, as if combing his fingers through it would relieve some of his anger and stress.