two can keep a secret,

chapter one.

Lilith.

"Hero's are boring," I say, not bothering to eat any of the food on my plate. I'm not hungry. I never am.

"They make the story though," Pansy Parkinson replies, snapping at me. It's a heated argument, all of them between us are. We don't back down easily. And I always win. But we're friends.

"No, the villain makes the story. Have you ever heard of a story without a villain? Exactly, you haven't. That's because it doesn't exist," I reply, pointing at her, diagonal from me. "The Hero's ruin themselves in the end. While the villain makes the problems, which makes it interesting, the hero tries to figure out what to do. Yet, they never know what to do to stop it. At the end, the lives are lost, places are ruined, and the hero wastes themselves away trying to figure out what the hell they could have done. But the answer is always the same, isn't it? There's nothing they could have done."

"Damn," Blaise, sitting to my left, says. "You just got debated out by Snape, Parkinson."

I shrug. "I mean, if Voldemort—" they all glare at me, "— wasn't a person and didn't do what he did, Harry Potter would be just another kid that we all make fun of."

"I hate to say it, Pansy. But she's right," Draco says, across from me.

"Why thank you, ferret," I nod to him, earning a glare from him and a snicker from Blaise.

"Attention students!" Dumbledore's voice booms across the Great Hall. Everyone goes silent and turns to look at him as he gives his welcome-back speech. I can see Hermione Granger slapping Ron Weasley with a newspaper out of the corner of my eye. I smirk as he looks flabbergasted at her. Probably trying to eat.

"I'm am very happy to welcome you all back to Hogwarts for another year!"

"Yay, fifth year," I mumble sarcastically, earning a chuckle from Blaise.

Draco rolls his eyes. "This place is a shithole," he mutters, shaking his head. "I should've asked my parents to take me to Drumstrang."

I turn to him and smile sarcastically. "Well, then you wouldn't get to be in the presence of your secret boyfriend." He glares at me. "Oh, Pottah, fuck me already," I say dramatically, earning a few glances from our fellow Slytherins. Draco death glares me and Blaise is refraining himself from actually falling to the floor laughing.

"We have a few new changes this year! We have gotten a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher!" Dumbledore continues.

A blobfish looking woman in all pink makes a giggling sound from the teacher's table. Everyone looks over at her as she stands up and starts walking to the front of the platform, where Dumbledore is standing. As she starts talking, me and Blaise glance at each other weirdly.

"Hello students!" she says loudly. I wince at the sound of her voice, as do most people. I glance up at my dad, Severus Snape. He's glaring at the blobfish. He glances over to me and rolls his eyes dramatically, and I have to refrain from laughing. He smirks at me and goes back to watching the blobfish.

"It is wonderful to be able to teach all of you! Looking at you all now, I can tell that this year is going to magnificent. I want your respect and trust. And you will all give it to me, I expect." Ugh. This bitch. "I can't wait to get to know you all! I can already tell we are going to be the best of friends."

Me and Blaise look at each other. "Over my dead goddam body," I mutter at the same time he mutters, "Toad ass bitch."

Finally, after some very unenthusiastic clapping, she goes and sits back down. My father looks absolutely disgusted when she sits down in the seat next to him. He turns to McGonagall and says something, causing her to cover her mouth from trying to not laugh.