new arrival

Parties And Endings.

I opened the bottle and the smell of it made me feel ill but I didn't care and I needed a escape which didn't involve hurting my skin so I brought the bottle to my lips and took a big gulp and began to cough and it brought tears to my eyes. This wasn't pleasent and I wondered why adults willingly drunk this.

*1 hour later*

The party indoors was picking up and I could faintly hear music playing and people laughing and I felt like I wanted to be part of the fun. I looked at the vodka bottle and there wasn't much left in the bottle but I didn't care I just felt giddy and dizzy. I got of the swing and tried to walk into the house but it was harder than usual as I was swaying and  my eyes were blurry.

I made it indoors and slid across the hallway and made it into the living room where everybody was. I tried to focus my eyes  but everything looked blurry still. I began to laugh and took another swig of vodka and decided I was going to dance.

Elvis was playing on the record player and I loved him so I was going to dance and I struggled to walk into the living room but I made it and I began to dance but the living room began to spin and everyone looked like they were flying round me at a super high speed which made me dizzy and I tripped and fell but luckily someone caught me.

I looked up and saw Paul starting at me

"hi Paulie" I slurred

"your drunk. Where did you get the alcohol?."

"the bitch stole my drink." John shouted angerly

"Well you hit me and gave me a black eye so I guess we're both disappointed huh."

"why did you have to drink it?." Paul asked

"because I hate life and I don't wanna be here no more." I say tears leaving my eyes

"don't say that India."

"why not its the truth. The only people who have never hurt me are George and Ringo and my sister."

"I've hurt you?."

"yeah you never believe me. You always believe the worst about me."

"I'm So sorry India I'll really try harder to never hurt you again I promise."

"you know what Paul I always think what would of happened if I had just stayed with you all those years ago. Maybe I wouldn't be so messed up. I think I would of been happy as those months with you were some of my happiest memories."

Paul pulled me into a tight hug but all I can focus on is how much I'm still swaying.

" did you hear that ladies and gentleman king Paul comes to the rescue again. I don't even get a look in."

" don't make a scene John. " cyn begged

" no no please continue your grand speech John." I shout back at him

"come on now John don't be shy. Tell everyone why I am the way I am." I added.

"because your a constant disappointment." he shouts getting of the sofa and getting in my face.

"yeah that's the John I remember the messy drunk."

"yeah well look at the state of you now your  drunk."

"just like my dad."

"I don't claim you. Look at you you're 14 and drunk and leaning against Paul to hold you up. You're a fucking embarrassment. I only have one daughter and thats my baby Hollie. Your just here because I got drunk and well Hollie was planned and wanted. I resent you and what you stole from me. "

" you're level of hatred for me never fails to amaze me. I've spent my whole life loving you and idolizing you. I remember being 5 years old in bed with my two hands clasped tight and my eyes shut and praying hard to god and I was praying that when I grow up and get bigger I could be just like you. You have been my entire world. I always thought that we were so alike and we were a unit. Yeah we are a unit of 4 but for me it always felt like mum had Hollie and you had me. All those times you left me or those times you verbally abused me or left me in dangerous situations I was angry but I always felt this magnetic pull which I knew whatever happened would always pull me back to you. And here I stand as a 14 year old teenager and for the first time I don't feel that pull I don't feel anything but hurt when I look at you. For now on you can do what you obviously have always been wanting to do. You can ignore me. Don't speak to me or look at me. From this day forward your wish is granted. You only have 1 daughter as I'm done with you. "

I looked around the room to find everyone crying while my dad looks shattered.

" I'm sorry to have ruined the party everyone but thank you for coming"

I slowly made my way to my bedroom feeling like everything is spinning. I fell onto my bed and I cried. I cried for the last few days I cried because my birthday was horrible but mainly I cried about dad.

This feels like the end of our relationship and for good.