raspberries and dirt

20. dirt

Wilbur couldn't breathe.

It wasn't due to his asthma or his binder.

It was Tommy.

Tommy was gone.

Tears blurred his vision as he hugged the lifeless body of his best friend. Tommy looked so peaceful; he could have been asleep. But he wasn't. There was nothing there that made him Tommy. There was no gentle snoring, no rise and fall of his chest, no heartbeat.

He was just a body.

Techno held Wilbur in his arms as he broke down. All the memories Tommy had made, gone. Lost to the world. Tommy would never annoy him to death, never laugh, never cry again.

Nobody would ever call him Wilby again.

Tommy would never learn to tie his shoes.

And Tommy's atoms would fade into the earth and become one with everything else. Tommy would become trees and sky and grass and sunlight and the air that Wilbur breathed.

The air that Tommy could never breathe again.
_______

The flower that Tommy had tucked into Techno's hair was a dandelion. A weed. A weed was Tommy's parting gift to the world.

The blood still spread in a pool around Tommy's body, coating Techno's hands.

Blood for the blood god.

Soon, the blood that would cover his hands wouldn't belong to Tommy. The blood would come from Dream.

Unfortunately, Dream was nowhere to be found. The coward had taken his friends and run. Phil shifted his wings uncomfortably as Techno drew close.

"What happened?"

Phil shrugged. "When you ran over to Tommy, I couldn't fight them all off by myself. Sapnap cut my forehead. The blood got in my eyes, and they ran. Speaking of Tommy, how's he doing? He seemed to be hurt pretty badly. I would've helped, but... you know..."

Technoblade's heart dropped. He told Phil numbly, "Tommy's gone."

Phil's hands flew to his mouth. "Jesus, Techno. I know you cared about that kid. I'm so sorry, Technoblade, I really am. Is there anything I can do?"

Technoblade shook his head. "I think Wilbur's the one who needs consoling right now."

Wilbur was hunched over Tommy's body, stroking his hair and holding him close. The blood had soaked through Tommy's shirt completely and had stained Wilbur's sweater as well. He was mumbling sweet nothings into Tommy's ear, humming softly.

Technoblade approached Wilbur cautiously and placed a hand on Wilbur's shoulder. Wilbur flinched and turned around.

"He's gone, Wilbur."

Wilbur shook his head vigorously. "He's not, Techno, I know he's not. Maybe if we could just-"

The Blade sat next to Wilbur, and Wilbur leaned his head onto Techno's shoulder.

"It's okay, Wilbur."

But it wasn't.
_______

"Leave me alone, Techno!" Wilbur shouted, angry tears streaming down his face.

Technoblade spread his hands out in surrender. "Wilbur, come on. I just want you to eat a little-"

Wilbur's voice was amplified by the tile walls of the subway. "Fuck off! I don't want to eat, I'm not hungry. I just want to be alone."

Techno backed off. "Sorry, Wil. Come out when you're ready."

Wilbur turned and ran down the subway tunnel. The walls blurred as he sprinted as fast as he could push himself. His lungs burned, and his calves screamed for reprieve. He stopped suddenly, collapsing on the ground. He stared at the ceiling as the runner's high hit him. The colors swum in his vision, and the pain lessened. He felt like he was floating.

He was rudely dragged back to reality by Ranboo's slight cough.

"Hello," the boy waved.

"Fuck off, Ranboo," Wilbur told him.

"You're downright cheerful today, aren't you?" Ranboo remarked, holding out a plate filled with food.

Wilbur said, "I'm not hungry."

"Of course, you aren't. What if I eat a little with you?" Ranboo offered, handing him a fork.

Wilbur stabbed the utensil into the mac and cheese. He took a small bite and forced it down. Ranboo pulled out a fork of his own and loaded it with food, shoveling it in his mouth.

The boys finished their meal relatively quickly and began the walk home. Ranboo had a talent for calming Wilbur down, and by the time they had arrived, Wilbur felt like shit.

"Sorry, Techno. I kind of exploded back there." Wilbur apologized

Techno waved it off. "It's perfectly fine, Wil. Did you eat?"

Wilbur nodded.

Technoblade, obviously pleased, nodded and turned back to the book he was reading. The Art of War, the cover read.

Interesting book.
_______

About a week after Tommy's death, Wilbur buried him. He dug the hole himself, six feet deep, and gave Tommy a proper burial.

Tommy didn't get the best in life, so Wilbur would make damn sure he got the best in death.

Techno, Phil, Ranboo, and Tubbo all offered to help, but Wilbur declined. He felt like he had to do this himself, like he had to prove something. To Tommy or to himself, he didn't know. But the hole had been dug, and Tommy's body was put into the ground.

Everyone came to the funeral. Even Quackity had the good graces to show up, although he kept scratching his arms uncomfortably. Wilbur said a few final words, places a singular flower in Tommy's hair, and then pushed the dirt back into the hole in the ground.

And Tommy was buried underneath six feet of dirt.

Soon, the scorching heat of summer turned to the gentle chill of autumn. Time passed, and Wilbur healed.

As the seasons changed, the flower field that once bloomed with life lay wilted and dead, the sun no longer shone, and the sky filled with grey.

And it wasn't okay. It would never truly be okay. But things were better.

Tommy was only a speck in the universe, one that will never be important, but that's okay because he knew for a long time he didn't mean much.

Wilbur healed slowly. It was painful; it took plenty of time. He had plenty of outbursts, as well. But the world sat there, waiting patiently for him because it was his for the taking whenever he decided he was ready.

And Wilbur was loved. Maybe not by the ones he wanted, but by the ones he needed.

And Wilbur learned how to braid hair, and he would do Techno's hair every morning. It helped him feel closer to Tommy.

And Wilbur would play tag with Tubbo and Ranboo, just like Tommy used to. He would have dance parties in the middle of the night. And Wilbur healed.

And Tommy was gone.