raspberries and dirt

7. nobody asked tubbo

Tommy was dead.

Tubbo's best friend was lying on the hard ground, his body broken and his eyes staring into nothing.

Tubbo walked toward the body. That's all it was now. It wasn't Tommy. It didn't have a terrible sense of humor or an addiction to cursing. It wasn't his best friend. All the memories together were lost. All for fucking nothing.

It wasn't Tommy anymore. It was just a body.

Just a body.
____

Tubbo clutched his chest with clammy hands. His breaths were shaky and uneven. He knew it was a nightmare. It was only a nightmare. But it felt so real.

Tubbo knew there was a significant chance any of them could die at any moment. Tommy could die of starvation, Wilbur could impale himself on something, Tubbo could have a fucking heart attack right this very second.

Silly to think that a heart attack could end your life so easily. You would just be gone. No more memories, no more fresh air, no more flowers. No more blue skies filled with clouds, terrible meals made better by friends, long roads leading nowhere.

Tubbo didn't like to think about death a lot. Death was sad. Death meant the end.

Tubbo didn't like endings. He didn't like sad ones, but he hated happy ones. The story ends there.

'They defeated the dragon and lived happily ever after. The end.'

Tubbo knew the story didn't end there, though. There was always more after it. And the rest of the story usually didn't have a happy ending.

But Tubbo didn't like to think about that. He always ended up thinking about things he couldn't get out of his head, good or bad. So Tubbo tried to move his train of thought to happier things. Tubbo wasn't happy, though. That was the problem.
____

The group packed up camp not much later. Tubbo didn't know where they were going; he just hoped Wilbur did. They moved along the train tracks, Tubbo waiting for the vibration that meant the subway train coming towards them. It never came.

Tubbo never quite got used to life after the floods. He still flipped light switches when he walked into a room, expecting a light to turn on. It never did, of course. Electricity was for people who had more money than three dollars and twenty-six cents.

So he walked along the train tracks, trying to entertain himself. He balanced along the edges of the rails. He counted every rail underneath him. He noted everything blue.

Tubbo didn't want to disturb Tommy. He knew he was clingy sometimes, and he didn't want to be annoying. Tubbo envied the relationship Tommy and Wilbur shared. It was so effortless. They were great friends. Tommy energized Wilbur, while Wilbur calmed Tommy down enough so that he wouldn't commit any crimes of war.

Tubbo didn't know how Tommy felt about him. Did he annoy Tommy? Did Tommy hate how clingy and attached Tubbo was?

Tubbo let the thoughts drown out the noises around him.
____

After fifteen more minutes of walking, they came across a fork in the road.

Two people were sitting at the place the track split into three. They looked around the same age and height. One was slightly shorter, with black hair peeking out from underneath a beanie. The other was taller, although they were very similar in size. The taller one had brown hair swept from the front of his face. They were playing some kind of game with cards; it looked like they were gambling. The taller one seemed to be losing. Tubbo didn't know much about gambling or card games.

The duo looked up at Wilbur as he approached. Tommy followed Wilbur closely, while Tubbo hung back.

As Wilbur opened his mouth to speak, the boy with the beanie interrupted him.

"Have you happened to see anyone wearing a bright blue sweater? Looks around twenty, dark brown hair?" he asked.

Wilbur stayed silent for a moment. "I haven't met anyone along our path."

The boy surveyed Wilbur for a moment. "Do you need something?"

"Actually, yes. I was wondering if you knew of any spots that are safe for us to stay at. Any place with a reliable food source would be nice."

So Wilbur didn't know where they were supposed to be going. Great.

"You can stay with us, actually. We're looking for some new allies. Care to play a game of cards? I'm Quackity, by the way," the boy invited.

The other boy with fluffy brown hair stayed silent.

Wilbur looked at Tommy. Tommy nodded. Nobody asked Tubbo if Tubbo wanted to play a game of cards or have an alliance.

Nobody asked Tubbo.