Mind Boggled

Chapter 70

Elijah curled a shaky arm around his daughter and tried to remind himself she was okay. She was here, and alive, but she just... Eric had been so hard on her-- on all of them. Harper had watched her older brother sacrifice himself and die right before her, and now the same thing had happened to the one person she'd finally opened up to. She'd mentioned Kirishima in every one of her phone calls to them. She'd been so happy to introduce the redhead to them, so proud and willing to stand by her friend. What was she going to do with that ripped away? Was she going to be okay? Was she going to close herself off?

Kurogiri's footsteps were measured and his stride was long. His mist was tightly controlled as Akiara led him into the room, looking uneasy by the warp gate's demeanor. Kurogiri didn't stop, strolling right up to Harper's bedside. Some might see it as insensitive, but Harper could feel the void where Kurogiri's erratic feelings belonged and understood fully. Her tears spilled over and began to roll down her face, a surprisingly calm frown set on her face. Her breathing was unusually even. He cocked his head at her, his glowing eyes lacking the expression and emotion they usually tended to convey. 

For a moment they were quiet. Until Kurogiri offered forth a misty hand.

Harper reached up and took it without much hesitation. The girl held it, taking a deep breath and gazing up at Kurogiri's obscured face. He didn't say anything. Didn't feel anything. It was odd, and Harper was... almost jealous. Almost, but not quite. It was good to feel these things. Kirishima deserved her grief, even if he probably didn't want it. Emotions were what made her human. It was a little petty but... Harper needed to hold onto all this to drive her forward. Kirishima's words wouldn't be as easy to follow if she couldn't feel them. And she couldn't effectively fuck up the villains if she wasn't pissed as hell.

"This is going to hurt." Harper admitted. Kurogiri nodded promptly. 

"I know." He says, and he sounds like he means it. "I know it will. That's what I'm counting on, Harper Rye."

Still, that does little to prepare him for the jolt that rushes through him. He gasps like he's taking the first breath he's had in a very long time, his glowing eyes stretching until they are wide and round. Harper tightens her grip on his hand, tears dripping down her cheeks and rolling off her chin. She keeps her gaze locked on him as he shudders, his mind struggling under the onslaught of all these new emotions to go along with all that's happened. 

"Kurogiri, I love you." She tells him in a steady, genuine tone despite her onslaught of tears. It's the first time she's ever told him clearly. She knows he knows on some level, but she wants it to be laid out in no uncertain terms. Because she could die, or he could, and then he'd never know. Harper is realizing that isn't something she could ever live with or forgive herself for. Kirishima told her to open up. As upset and angry and devastated as she is, she's determined to listen.

Kurogiri doesn't answer verbally, but he does wrap her in a hug and begin to cry. She hugs him back and does the same. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

It's suffocating. She can't breathe. She can't do this, but she wants to. Kirishima had told her to open up and to move on and to be okay, but it's just the day after and Harper feels more unsteady than she ever has in her entire life. Eric was similar to this, but she'd been a child then. She has a deeper understanding of emotions and of herself this time. It's hard not to close in on herself. Like Kirishima said, she has to get her shit together. Her entire class is struggling, and so are the teachers and other heroes involved. 

She'd told pretty much everyone she'd come across that she loved them. She'd told Tsukauchi when he rushed in to see her, looking just as exhausted as she felt. She'd told her parents when the collapsed crying not for the first time since they've been here with her. She'd told Sansa when he quietly came in with four cups of coffee and her favorite blanket from the apartment. She'd told her aunts and uncle and baby cousin when they came in, spending a long, long time simply holding Kota and muttering apologies to him. She'd told Aizawa when he came to check in on her, and she'd told a hysterical Sero over the phone.