Just Two Weeks || Sebastian Stan x Reader

Day 10 - Seb

He stands there. Numb. Not sure what to do. Watching you leave. You don't look back and it hurts him. There's a pain in his chest and it feels weird to breathe. The butterflies in his stomach feel like they're ripping their way out, itching their way up to his throat and settling at the back of his mouth. Which is dry now and it hurts to swallow.

It takes him back to the other night. Was it last night? He can't remember. The night he got drunk at the thought of losing you.

Friday

After a few drinks alone in his hotel room, he went out to try and distract his busy mind. He needed to stop thinking about you. But he couldn't.

Maybe another girl would help. To talk to someone else. He went to the bar again and all he could think about was how they weren't you. How they didn't smile like you did. Their laugh didn't give him goosebumps. Their frowns weren't cute.

He still tried though, tried to stop thinking about you. Because that was it. Right? You didn't want him anymore.

He may as well have gone to London that night. Away from this city and the memories within its walls. As far away from the beach as possible. And the bed. The bed that still smelt of you. He hated that.

The girl he met knew who he was. She laughed at things that weren't funny. They were in the smoking area at some point, surrounded by the smell of tobacco and regrets. There was a sweetness around them too, as if someone had been sick.

Which reminded him of you.

His back was against the cold brick wall as he smoked. He didn't usually smoke. He used to, a lot. But it steadied his hands. And kept his mind busy on anything but you as he took long drags and swallowed the bitterness.

"So, shall we go then?" The woman said to him. And he just nodded and followed.

He can't really remember what happened after, too drunk to recall and too hurt to remember.

He remembers the walk towards her house on the other side of town, away from you. It's when they pass the wall he stops. As if he wasn't allowed to leave.

"What's wrong? My house isn't far." She went to kiss him and her lips got his chin.

"I can't do this. Yeah, sorry. This isn't me." He said, touching her arm. "I can walk you home, though, sorry."

"Are you taking the piss?" 

"Sorry?"

"Are you having me on?" The woman stared at him. She looked angry. 

"Would you like me to walk you home?" He asked again. 

"Fuck off, mate." 

He's alone again then, not really sure where he was or how to get back to the hotel. He knew the wall would take him around the city and he knew which stairs would lead him to yours but he didn't think you wanted to see him.

He got his phone out and called Mackie. 

"What's up, Seb man?" 

"I've fucked up, Mack." 

"Hey, hey, what's wrong? What's happened?" 

"I was trying to sort it. I was." 

"Okay. So, what's happened?" Mackie was calm with him, sober and helpful. 

"I ran out of time. I tried to fix it. To cancel Saturday. She gave up." 

"She gave up? Or she got fed up?"

He went quiet, not sure. Listening to some sirens in the distance. The city still awake and it was loud to him even though he was by the water. 

"Which one is it, Seb?" Mackie pressed. 

He ran his free hand through his hair. The lights from the centre were getting blurry and he thought maybe he was crying.

"It's my fault."

"So are you going to fix this or just run away from it?"

"I don't know." Sebastian clenched his jaw and he started to shake.

"Fuck, man. You really are shit with women, you know that. They can't read your damn mind. You've got to tell them just as much as they tell you."

"I know. I'll, I should call her."

"And say what?"

"Everything."

He hung up the phone to call you but it went to voicemail.

Seb
No answer

Mackie
So What's App her
And don't go fucking deleting it tomorrow

Seb
Olah

Okay

He managed to find your messages and his thumb shook as it hovered over the screen. At this moment, it was just you and him. The sirens had gone quiet and he didn't pay attention to the passing headlights.

He started to record a message.

Hey... uh, it's Seb. You, well, you'll already know that I suppose. I don't know what to say, really. I just wanted to talk to you but I think you're asleep.

I... I don't want this to be it. It can't be it. I, fuck. I'm sorry I messed up so bad.

I think, well I don't know, but sometimes... sometimes I think that I love you.

I look at you and I... I'm glad I bought you those drinks. I'm glad for karaoke and the wall. And the zoo. The beach. And ice cream.

I'm so fucking glad that I met you. You have no idea. And you're so beautiful. Like, I don't know why you're wasting your time with me.

I'm so sorry. Fuck.

Saturday

He's back at the hotel now. You've left. Fuck, he let you leave. He has to go thank everyone quickly, so he does. Says a few words but he can't remember what as he's too busy thinking about you.

He goes upstairs once he's finished. He's going to drink water, eat a banana and come after you. Trying his best to sober up so his head doesn't keep telling him to go to bed.

Sebastian almost finishes an entire bottle of water, chin wet from it as he goes onto his phone. He'll write to you first, ask you where you are so he knows where to go.

You're online. Are you going to say something?

He stares for a minute but nothing changes. You don't write anything. Maybe you're talking to someone else then. Maybe you don't want him to go after you.

You're better off without him anyway.

He goes into the fridge and grabs the mini bottles of whiskey, enough to help him get to sleep.

He's opened the first one and emptied it all into his mouth when there's shouting.

"It's fine. Hold on, I'll prove it."

Is that you?