FIRST SIGHT

I Just gotta move on

"I want you to know that I never stopped loving you, and I never will." He winked at me flashing his pearly white smile.

"Gil come help me get dressed."

"Certainly my love."

Janet

Damnit where could Gil be, I'm bout to lose my damn mind. Everything smells like her, when I close my eyes I see her. What have I done.

"You have reach the voice mail box of: heyyyy babe it's you love Gil, leave ya number and I'll holla at you later." I hung up not even wasting my time leaving a message.

The words "I want a divorce." Kept playing repeatedly in my damn head. Toni wouldn't do that, it's not her talking it's somebody else. Toni couldn't do that, she loves me. She has to love me, she's the only person that can.

"Ahh!" My head and my heart was screaming for her to come back to me. I just can't live without her.

Just then my door opened.

"What in the hell— Janet get yo ass up now and I'm not asking either." Gil came in helping me get up.

"What the hell is wrong with you."

"I want Toni to come back Gil."

"Baby Toni has moved on. Come with me."

"Gil what are you saying."

"I'm not gone say too much, ima just let you see exactly what you messed up."

He drove to the beach and there was a couple there. He got out setting a blanket down as he begin to talk.

"Ya know when you first got with Toni, I thought it was crazy, I thought she was gonna be too immature and only after your money. I've learned over time that Toni is so very much different. She loves you truly gave her all to make sure you felt her love, all of her. She saw no wrong in you, she was in love with you so deeply, blinding by how you treated her. Well look, sit back and think about what you've lost."

I looked upon the couple as the guy picked the lady up and kissed her while the two kids ran around them.

"They're beautiful me and Toni are going to be like that someday."

"Jan baby, that is Toni..."

My heart begin to sink to the pit of my damn stomach.

"Gil, I wanna go home."

"Nah, let's sit here."

"Take me home Gil."

"No ma'am, it hurts don't it."

"TAKE ME HOME GIL!"  Toni looked my way and so did Amira.

"Mommy!" She ran my way with open arms.

"Hey babygirl."

"Hey mommy, you be coming home with us."

"No baby I'm not. I won't be home for a while."

"Why mommy? You be going on the road?"

"No baby, I just hurt your momma really badly and we need to stay away from each other for a while. I promise I'll be back, I'll even come see you everyday, bring you home from school, let you spend the night with me. I'm gonna be here baby I promise."

"Why did you hurt her?"

"Baby I can't explain why."

"Mommy, I don't like it when you hurt her, you're suppose to love her."

"You're such a smart little girl, uncle Gil gonna get you a happy meal tomorrow and eat lunch with you at school."

"Otaay." I looked at Toni and now who I know is pop stand at the shore holding hands. He looked at her the same way I did and leaned down to kiss her. It hurts to admit this but she might be better off without me.

"Amira come on baby, we gotta go. You two got school in the morning."

"Otaay, bye mommy."

"Ima walk you over there come on, get on mommy's back." She climbed on and I walked over to them.

"Ms. Jackson."

"Sharod."

"Momma, when we going back to mommy."

"Baby I'll discuss that with you later."

"Toni can we please talk."

"No. Take them to the car please pop."

"Anything baby, you gone be ok?"

"Yea."

"Toni walk with me for a moment." She thought about it before walking."

"You coming?" I walked beside her just looking at her. I need to let my heart speak instead of my ass.

"Toni I'm sorry."

"Awl hell here we go, Janet save it. I don't want to here it."

"Toni—."

"No janet, I'm sick of your apologies because they don't mean a damn thing."

"Toni, you're still married to me. You are my wife."

"Not for long, goodbye Janet. I'll have the papers in a couple of days I'll call you and let you know when you can get them after I sign."

"Please don't do this."

"I didn't do anything baby, you did..." she walked off going to pop as Gil came over to me.

"It hurts so bad."

"Now you know how it feels."

"Come on, I'll drive you home."

I lost her.. I really lost her this time.