Care to Command

12 Sit

"Cause I'm pretty sure he wants to ends things, and I need one last shot of wowing him before I let him." She casually explains, traffic noise in the back. I bet she's out shopping. "I'm out shopping for a sexy dress, can't wait until your birthday!"

I palm my forehead, nails scraping against my skull. "Casey...that's not a good idea-"

"I know, I know. But you always tell me to not let people walk all over me. So can I at least look hot when he tells me we're done? Got to go. Bye!"

A long, uncomfortable silence stretches when she hangs up. Neither Lucas nor I have the energy to make sense of it. We quietly walk out of the office, refusing to entertain the drama.

~

If there's one thing definitive about Casey, it's that she needs someone who won't take advantage of her gullible nature. In my head, Jacob - her childhood friend - is the obvious choice. The guy opens doors for strangers, entertains grandparents at parties, and is studying to be a veterinarian. He's the epitome of niceness.

But the problem with Casey is that she's been treated like a princess since leaving her mother's womb, which has made her a little...spoiled, and stubborn, and shallow. In her eyes, Jacob is a worn out sweater that's been in her closet for ages, whereas Lucas is the shiny, limited edition leather jacket at a storefront window.

My mind's so preoccupied with Casey, that by the time my birthday rolls around, I don't realize how nervous I am to be around Lucas outside of work again. To make matters worse, my dad completely forgot his midnight text message. That was the one sliver of comfort I was looking forward to.

Every year, on my birthday, he texts me at midnight. Every year, I stay up with childlike anticipation. Waiting for my phone to light up. So I can hug the devise between my fingers and read his words over and over. Relishing the faint warmth of intimacy.

Maybe the Beijing clients are really, really on his ass. But would it kill him to choose me, at least once? Would it kill him to acknowledge me? To make me feel like I matter?

~

"Where's Casey?" Vadim asks, filling my fourth shot of tequila.

"Probably getting ready for a dramatic entrance..."

There are about twenty - twenty five? - people at her pool party. Only a handful know me, the rest are acquaintances that probably don't realize they're here for a birthday. Latin music purrs in the back, a few guests dance nearby, the rest lounge around the patio, drinking and conversing.

My best friend's definition of love is to surround me with a large crowd and dress me like one of her dolls. Usually I argue against it, but I guess this time, out of guilt, I went along. The sky blue dress reaches mid thigh, a bit too short for my taste. I feel eighteen instead of twenty five.

Even Lucas was surprised. His eyes went wide when he came over, wrapped me in one-armed, short-lived, uncommitted hug, blurted happy birthday and disappeared for a drink. Now, he's with Jacob and Regine on the patio couch, engaged in an unknown discussion. Sharing a scary Marine story, I assume, judging from how engaged and shocked his listeners seem.

"Cheers, birthday girl." Vadim smiles, tapping his shot glass on my nose. We take another shot, before he lights a joint and takes a drag, clouding my vision in swirls of grey smoke.

Casey finally emerges from the house. A sultry, red dress hugs her curves as she glides her hips towards Lucas. To my surprise, the first person to acknowledge her is Jacob. I'd expect a blush or a weak hand wave, but no. He stands up to approach, twirls her for a full look, and does a chef's kiss with fingers, making Casey giggle.