Ineffable Husbands One Shots

A Beautiful Floral Massacre

~!~ Hello everyone!! Today's prompt was Colorful. I also... struggled with my title, but I swear the fic is cute (I hope????) XD I hope you like it!! ~!~

"What can I get ya, sir?" a dark-haired woman asked as Aziraphale approached her farm stand.

"Hello! Two figs, please! They look delicious," the angel answered.

"Ay, they are. My sons love them on salads!"

"Ooh! Perhaps I'll try that with my second fig. How old are your sons?" he asked kindly, as he handed over the payment.

"Ten and five," she informed him with a smile.

"Very nice! How do they like to spend their time?"

She chuckled. "All they do is play music. My husband wants them to be farmers like he was, but they won't have it," she said with a good-natured eye roll.

"They sound delightful! Perhaps someday I might hear them play," Aziraphale said sincerely.

"Well, they're planning on playing in the agora pretty soon, I'm sure they'd be glad to have an audience."

"Ah, well I'm positive I won't be the only audience member!"

She beamed at him with parental pride. "That is very kind of you. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day!"

"Thank you! I'm sure I shall since I have good food and an opportunity to hear beautiful music! I hope your day is pleasant as well," and with that, he headed off towards the agora.

He was technically in Greece to perform a blessing, but he'd finished that the day before. Today, he was able to explore the area, meet the people, eat the food, and hear the music! He could already tell this was going to be great fun.

As he made his way to the agora, he looked around, observing all of the people. Some had stands set up similar to the woman's farm stand, some were trying to encourage animals to walk with them (there was one man in particular who was struggling a great deal to persuade his sheep into walking), and some were like Aziraphale, just passerbys, enjoying the area.

But there was one passerby in particular that gave him pause... A woman with flowing red hair who was primarily dressed in black, aside from the many, many colorful flowers that decorated her person. Aziraphale couldn't tear his eyes away from her, she was very alluring to him for some odd reason. She... well, Aziraphale thought she looked rather like Crowley, but that couldn't be. Crowley was never that colorful- although, Aziraphale understood that fashion trends and the way they would combine with her personal style were wont to change with time.

The woman wore what looked like a crown made solely out of flowers atop her copper locks. She had more flowers tucked into unusual places all around her body; some were woven into her hair, others were held by the folds of her dress, the strap of her sandals, and there were even some protruding from her sleeves. In addition, she had what appeared to be enough flowers for about six bouquets in her two hands.

Aziraphale increased his walking pace in an attempt to get a closer look at this unique woman; even if she wasn't Crowley he was sure she'd be very interesting. He decided that in any case, he'd quite like to compliment her floral attire.

Just as he was nearing her, he noticed that a pink flower had fallen from its perch on her shoulder. Reaching to pick it up, he called to her. "Miss! I believe you dropped this."

Aziraphale couldn't help but break out into a grin as she turned to face him and he saw the telltale curve of a nose and a single eyebrow raised quizzically.

Once she registered who was speaking to her, the other eyebrow raised to join the first. "Aziraphale?!"

"Hello, Crowley!"

She stared at him, clutching her flowers to her chest.

"Oh, you dropped this! Would you mind if I...?" Aziraphale began to reach toward the demon's ear.

She nodded mutely, still looking very surprised to see him.

He gently tucked the pink flower behind her ear, taking great care not to disturb the crown resting on her head, nor the flowers woven into the rest of her hair. "There you are, my dear!"

"Sudh... I mean... thanks," she said before clearing her throat.

"I must say, I rather like your floral garb!! It's so beautifully colorful, and I don't think I've ever seen anyone weave flowers together to make a crown like that before," Aziraphale praised.

"Oh, er... yeah. Me neither. I... might have. Invented them?" she said, trying and failing to disguise how much she was preening at the compliments.

"Really? Oh, how wonderfully creative of you!"

At this point, Crowley's cheeks were a shade to rival the flower behind her ear.

Aziraphale beamed at her. "And you look very good in them."

"Gheah! Not good."

"But-"

"Nope. This- this was evil. I... massacred all these innocent flowers, just to increase my own beauty! I am vain, selfish, and very, very evil," she said firmly.

Aziraphale rolled his eyes at the demon. "If you insist, dear."

Crowley nodded stiffly. "I do."

The angel sighed, and there was a beat of silence. Crowley carefully observed her handfuls of flowers, squeezing the stems rhythmically.

"Say... would you be interested in heading to the agora with me? I heard there will be some delightful music playing there shortly!"

Crowley glanced up at him, looking uncertain.

Aziraphale's heart began to ache something awful at just the thought of her refusing his offer. He quickly decided he needed something to sweeten the pot. "Er... here! You can have one of my figs," his hand jolted out to present the snack.

Her lips twitched upwards. Aziraphale could suspect why; it was quite rare for him to readily volunteer to share food in this manner. But, maybe it would prove to be worth it, just this once...?

He looked at her, eyes imploring.

"Yes, yes, alright, yes," she agreed, reaching out to take the fig he was holding out to her.

For the briefest moment, their fingers brushed and suddenly, Aziraphale felt quite a bit warmer. He even had the urge to fan himself, for some unknown reason. Instead, he just cleared his throat.

An amused smile passed over Crowley's face. "Lead the way, angel."

As it turned out, the young boys were not particularly talented musicians. Aziraphale was certain they were on the road to improving with this practice they were getting and still gave them quite a few coins. After all, he and Crowley did not need to hear especially good music to have a nice time, not when they had each other's delightful company. By and large, they were happy, and that was all that really mattered.

~!~ Yayyyyyy!! Also, I didn't end up working this in, but Aziraphale does end up with a flower crown of his own that he preserves for centuries to come :) Thank you so very much for reading!! I hope you have a lovely rest of your day/night <3