Ineffable Husbands One Shots

But if you really hold me tight...

It was Christmas Eve.

It was Christmas Eve and Aziraphale was feeling very alone.

It's not like it was anything new. He'd been alone for months now.

And at first it had been lovely! He had thoroughly enjoyed being left to his own devices with just himself and his books.

But after a few months - around the time when Crowley had said he'd be awake - he'd begun to feel the loneliness creep in from the dark and dusty corners of the shop and start tugging at his clothes, attempting to drag him into a pit of gloom. He'd tried his hardest not to let it happen. He kept busy. He called Crowley (and ended up leaving many voicemails). He went for walks, on pleasant days (donning a tartan face mask, of course).

But he was finding it more difficult at Christmas. Perhaps it was the colder weather that was making it harder to find the motivation to go for walks. Or possibly the fact that one was supposed to be surrounded by those they love at Christmas time. Or maybe it was because he'd never been this solitary for the holiday season.

He and Crowley didn't spend Christmas together regularly, per se, but it happened frequently enough that it clearly wasn't a coincidence anymore. And, after last year's big celebration that had followed Armageddon... Well, maybe that was a one-time thing. A we-helped-save-the-world-so-lets-act-like-it type of thing. Not the type of thing that leads to more, and certainly not the sort of thing that is just the beginning of something wonderful that has the potential to last forever. And no, the fact that Aziraphale had immediately thought that the event was the start of something more changed nothing.

The truth of the matter was that it was Christmas Eve, and he was completely and devastatingly alone in his bookshop.

And he was bored.

He was so, very bored. He didn't even want to read any of his favorite Christmas classics - not if he was only going to be reading them to himself. Those books were meant to be shared, to bring people together in a moment of pure enjoyment from a good story. It didn't quite feel right to read them now.

And anywho, he may not have even been able to focus on the words. His mind was too busy being consumed by thoughts of Crowley. Thoughts of I wonder what he's doing, and, I wonder if he's celebrating in any way, and, I wonder if he's awake, and, the paranoid, what if he is awake and didn't call me!? But even Aziraphale had to admit that sounded a little far fetched. Crowley would certainly call him when he woke up... Right?

Well, no point in worrying himself over it now. Crowley hadn't called and that was that. Which was why Aziraphale was feeling very alone and very bored.

He wished he could just pop out of this dreary reality and go to some fantastical dreamland. A dreamland where he and Crowley could be together. That would be quite wonderful.

He was so desperate to see his friend that he would do nearly anything. (But, unfortunately, all of the things in the nearly category - all of the things he wouldn't do - were the things that would actually allow him to be with Crowley.)

He thought some more about what the demon was probably doing. He was probably fast asleep, under a mountain of black blankets (Aziraphale was aware of his cold-blooded nature and thus assumed he would need many blankets - and that they would probably act more like heated blankets rather than non-electrical blankets, just because Crowley believed they should work that way - and he assumed they would be black because. Well. It was Crowley.). Maybe he was snoring softly. Aziraphale didn't actually know whether or not he snored, but he imagined it would be quite endearing if he did. He wondered if Crowley was having nice dreams. And that made him wonder... if he fell asleep... could he dream of Crowley? That would be very nice indeed. Maybe it was worth a shot...