Entangled

Part 13

Everyday at the orphanage felt more or less like a torture to Manik. He observed that though Nandini stayed to herself and had got annoyed with him a few times, she never seemed to be annoyed to be at the orphanage or she never tried to back out from any task. Also, he had made up his mind that he would get her to interact with him more, someway or other. So,

        Manik : "What motivates you to volunteer here?"

        Nandini : "Why do you want to know?"

        Manik : "Maybe it will give me a reason to get motivated as well."

        Nandini : "In that case, you will have to check with others here because my reason isn't going to help in motivating you."

        Manik : "Why so? .. You tell me your reason, and I will figure out if it helps me or not."

         Nandini : "I spent a major part of my life in an orphanage. It provided the care and support when no one else did. I will never be able to repay what it did for me in full. This is a small opportunity for me to do something in return."

        Nandini's reason was way different from what his friends had predicted. However, Manik wasn't sure if she was speaking the truth or not, but he kept their conversation going.

        Manik : "Major part of your life .. so where else were you other than the orphanage?"

        Nandini : "I was with my mom for a few years. After she passed away, I was put in an orphanage. Then I was staying in a hostel for sometime and .. now I am here."

        Nandini skipped the part between the hostel and the present, she didn't want to talk about that part of her life.

        Manik : "Your mom.. what happened to her?"

        Nandini : "She had a weak heart. After my birth, her health deteriorated and she left me within a few years."

        Manik : "Didn't you have any relatives with whom you could stay?"

        Nandini : "Mom's parents had passed away in an accident. She didn't have any siblings. .. Her husband left a few days after their marriage and never returned."

        Manik : "It might have been hard on you to lose your mom and adjust to the orphanage."

        Nandini : "I don't remember anything from then except for the day she left me. I was too young to remember."

        Manik : "Then how do you know about your mom?"

        Nandini : "She knew she wasn't going to live for long, so she left me a diary. Everything I know about her and what happened back then is from her diary. I remember the day she left me because .."

        Manik : "Because"

        Nandini realized that  she had been speaking about herself for long and stopped. Everything she spoke until now was of her distant past, and she didn't want to talk about her recent past or present. Manik didn't let her stop, and he already knew about her claustrophobia so Nandini continued.

        Nandini : "Whenever I am stuck in dark closed spaces, it reminds me of the day she left me. I was in a similar situation that day. My mom was struggling and I didn't know how to go out from there and get help. If I knew, may be I could have saved her. It has induced the fear that I may lose someone again and I may not be able to save them."

        Manik had initiated the conversation only to get her to interact with him. He was only pretending to show concern at first, but her past made him sympathize with her a little. At the same time he felt a little guilty that they had taken advantage of the situation that was connected to her mom's death. This time, he believed what she said because he had seen her condition when she was locked in the room. She didn't open up usually, but she did so that day, so he continued the conversation.