the hilt | eren jaeger

s e v e n t e e n - E.J.

A girl stumbled over the cobblestone pavements.

Her steps were uneven and broken, just like her eyes. They had glassed over, leaving nothing but a body with no soul. They stared into the distance without any regard to the world around them, and the girl couldn't escape. She knew she couldn't. She stopped trying long ago.

Her body was tattered. She looked awful and rather pathetic. There was no way to deny that.

And with each crippling step, small red droplets would appear in her wake. Some would splatter more, others were thicker in the tense atmosphere of the night, but they all fell just the same.

No drop was particularly insignificant, but no drop was very significant either.

The girl had to have been thirteen, maybe fourteen, yet even in her young age she was still the victim to an atrocity that'd span time.

Rather unfortunate to be affected so dismally, but this wasn't the first time.

It wasn't the first time she'd venture out at night with blood trailing her every move, it wasn't the first time that she was too empty to even let a tear fall.

Falling and crumbling was all the world did— In her eyes, at least.

She trusted the very people who did this to her, and yet, it had been going on for so long now. It was the purest bond of trust to break, such a pure and tender connection, but yet it broke nonetheless.

Did she deserve it? Did she really deserve to fall victim to the system that had preceded her?

Did she deserve to fall prey to the twisted jurisdiction of her parents?

And what had confused her the most, was that nothing made sense. They loved her for so long.

They were a hug at the end of a long day, a kiss on the cheek when time was delirious. They were comfort and solace.

So why— Why did they let the words of a single, strange man— Who the girl only saw for a brief moment before he disappeared— completely change them?

Why did his short talk with them change them more than any of the girl's cries of pain did? Why did none of her wallows while they defaced her become her adversaries, her defense? She wasn't enough to change them.

Why couldn't she have been enough?

Were they always monsters?

Were they even monsters at all?

Were they gone beyond repair? Was there only one way to end their pain, the onslaught, and the terror of a gargled mind?

They weren't happy. They were never happy. Their waking moments were spent with fear. They never looked at their daughter the same way again. Their irises were decayed with glossy film, once colorful and bright were now depressed with time's ordinance. At some point, they'd been the ideal father and mother to her. At some point, they loved her unconditionally. But love degrades over time, or so I guess, and she remained as someone who just wasn't enough.

If she wasn't enough to change her parents, how would she be enough to change anyone? To change anything? She believed it all futile for this sole reason. She didn't have the power to save her parents from whatever delusions plagued their minds. She didn't have what it took to become better; and she paid the price dearly.

She didn't believe in the good of anyone, or that anyone would help, or even benefit her in the slightest. She'd tell herself that it meant nothing, that everything meant nothing, in order to salvage what little was left of her soul. There wasn't much left to begin with.